Dance With Our Hearts On Fire
by Marteczka's Quill
Summary: It's 7th year, and Lily has to balance being Head Girl, listening to her two insane best friends, and trying to stay on top of NEWT work while keeping a very different James Potter out of trouble. One that she may even fall for. Crazy, right?
1. Check Yes Juliet

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

**This story is named after a song called "Take This To Heart" by my favorite band, Mayday Parade. (:**

The magical world can shock you.

Yes, I know that sounds like the most obvious thing in the world, but it's also the truest thing in the world. Because as I sat there looking—nay, gaping—at the Head Girl badge that had fallen ever so gracefully from it's envelope and onto the hard, caramel-colored wood of my breakfast table… Well, I was incredibly overwhelmed, to say the least.

"Oh, my God!" I screamed, the sound coming out much louder and shriller than I had originally intended.

So much louder and shriller, in fact, that it had my indefinitely-busy mother racing from her upstairs office to the kitchen, appearing in a breathless wonder that had me pondering whether or not she _really _trusted owl post.

"Lily!" she exclaimed, her expression of panic fading away into one of confusion. "Er… Why are you screaming at a badge?" Her emerald-colored eyes, identical to my own, raked over the object that was the source of all the morning's excitement.

She tentatively poked at the badge, looking at it so warily that it was as if she thought it was going to transfigure into a bomb and blow us all up. When the badge did nothing at her touch (it was but a badge, after all), she turned her suspicious eyes back on mine.

"It doesn't look harmful to me, Lily," she admitted, "In fact…" her voice trailed off as she picked it up to read the words that were so beautifully inscribed on it. I watched her, unable to say anything, completely frozen in the position I had been in as soon as I had opened the envelope, my heart thumping anxiously…

"Lily," she gasped. Her eyes, huge as saucers, met mine again. "Head Girl?"

I managed to nod slowly, the entire time hoping avidly that this wasn't just another one of my fantasies.

The next thing I knew, I was being smothered in a rather uncomfortable hug.

"Oh, Lily! I'm so proud of you! I just _knew _you were going to get such a high honor someday, I just _knew _it! We must tell your father, and Petunia…"

I stopped listening to my mother's emotional babbling at the mention of my sister. Against my wishes, a rather painful feeling erupted in my heart. I had sworn, years ago, that I wouldn't care about Petunia, that her blatant hatred and jealously would stop bothering me. But I knew that promise was pointless as soon as I had made it. Though she evidently didn't care about me, I would never stop loving her, because, well…she was my sister. And that's what sisters do.

My mother released me, wiping tears from her eyes and muttering something that sounded like "so proud, so proud" over and over again as she sniffed and practically sprinted to the phone. In a matter of minutes, I heard her gushing the news to my father.

The badge lay abandoned on the table, still laying face-up. I picked it up in one of my trembling hands, thanking every god of every religion I had ever heard of (I was never quite able to pick one) that it was finally mine.

Ever since my first year of Hogwarts, when I saw the badge on Honaria White's robes, I knew I wanted it. And when I was declared a Prefect in fifth year, my hopes rose very significantly.

You see, I had always been different in my family. I was the one with the red hair, the fiery temper, the compulsive blushing, and… the magic. But even as Lily the Oddball Evans, I was completely happy. I _liked _being different.

That all changed when I received one very important letter. Being only eleven years old, I couldn't understand why my admittance to a special school would upset my older sister. I thought she would be happy for me. At first, she seemed to be. But after I happened to accidentally walk on in her crying, holding a familiar piece of parchment in her hands, she turned against me. I mean _really _against me. Though she had been my best friend in the world before, Petunia decided that she never wanted to have anything to do with me again.

That's when I snapped. Instead of being perfectly happy with everything I already had, I decided that I wanted to be the best in everything in my reach. With that, I entered Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry determined, a plan set in my mind. I spent evenings poring over every word of my homework, and practically every second of free time granted to me was spent studying for hours, right from the very beginning.

The rewards were impressive, of course. I managed to get perfect grades, excelling in all of my subjects. My teachers loved me immensely, one in particular. My Potions teacher, Professor Slughorn, took an immediate liking of me as soon as he realized that I had read the entire book of coursework over the summer, and could brew several of the most difficult potions from memory.

Usually, when one was as hard-set in pursuing academic success as I was, they would become ostracized by their peers. Luckily, that wasn't the case with me. I managed to gain two wonderful best friends, Auriola Commissi and Alice Prewett.

There used to be a third best friend. I had known Severus Snape before I went to Hogwarts. Our friendship was different, not as care-free and simple as the ones I experienced with Aurie and Alice. Sev was the one who told me everything I need to know about the magical world and Hogwarts. We grew up together, both so happy to be a part of something so special as magic. But Sev chose to associate with a different group of friends, a group of dangerous people that I chose to avoid at all costs. I warned him; I really did try to dissuade him from hanging out with them, but it was to no avail. Our friendship ended on some harsh words in fifth year, and I decided never to instigate it again, no matter how much it hurt me.

Besides the true friends I found at Hogwarts, I also managed to gain an admirer, much to my annoyance. James Potter was an arrogant and conceited fool who had someone deluded himself into thinking that his greatest goal in life was to fancy me. He was absolutely ridiculous, and never _ever _gave up, no matter how much I insulted him and begged him to leave me alone. Instead, he would pretend to grow completely somber and depressed and trudge off towards his cocky little group of friends, the Marauders, and return the next day yelling, "Oi, Evans! Go out with me?"

Just the thought of James made me dread returning to Hogwarts tomorrow, which was a pretty spectacular feat in itself. I absolutely loved my old school. Everything about it just seemed to scream "home!" at me, and I was never as calm and comfortable as I was sitting by the fire in the Gryffindor common room.

Merlin, I would miss it when this year ended. Don't get me wrong, being seventeen has its perks, including being allowed to do magic outside of school for the first time. But, it is also an age of responsibility, and at this age, I was supposed to be preparing for my eventual departure from Hogwarts and my venture out into the real and terrifying world of magic.

Terrifying because I would feel so vastly alone. I would feel small and pressured and horribly alone in a world that hid evil up it's sleeve. Oh, yes, the summer had almost made me forget Voldemort, the disgusting and _vile _Dark wizard that was rising rapidly to power among us. I felt a small shiver of fear crawl up my back as I thought about Voldemort's goal. He wanted to kill all of the Mudbloods—all of the people who, like me, were of Muggle descent.

I sighed, realizing how far my thoughts had drifted from the happy oblivion that they were when I first saw what the envelope carried by the tawny owl had contained. I stared at the badge some more, still in disbelief. _Head Girl_. I was Head Girl! My greatest goal had been realized…

"Lily, dear?"

I whipped around as I noticed my mum staring at me with a bit of concern present on her face.

"Are you alright?" she asked. "You've been standing there staring at that badge for the past fifteen minutes."

I smiled. "Just reminiscing is all," I replied wistfully.

The corners of her mouth turned up in an understanding, mother-like smile. "Are you a bit sad about it being your last year?"

My eyes dropped down to the table, tracing the contours of the old wood table thoughtfully.

"A bit," I answered finally. "But I'm more excited, really." I put on a bright smile to keep her from worrying about me.

* * *

I jumped at the sound of the piercing whistle of the Hogwarts Express. Even though it was my seventh time hearing it, the sound still made me nervous, as if I were in my first year all over again. The thought made me smile slightly, dragging me out of the melancholy broodings that for some unknown reason had plagued me all throughout the car ride to King's Cross Station.

Not a fan of tardiness, I set off on dragging my heavy trunk, complete with owl cage, up onto the train, panting with exertion. The next thing to do would be to put it on the luggage rack, a much harder task. I sighed, setting my jaw and trying with all of my might to lift it up onto the impossibly high-up rack.

To my immense surprise, the trunk was lifted easily onto the rack. I observed a pair of toned and well-tanned arms pushing it into place and blushed. They were really very nice-looking arms.

I turned to face my savior (for really, he _had _saved me from a sure and painful death-being crushed by my trunk), but when I recognized the strong jaw, twinkling hazel eyes, and messy black hair, my "thank you" got stuck in my throat. Oh, bother.

James Potter grinned back at me. "Okay, there, Evans?"

I scowled, the muscles in my face amusingly familiar with the expression. "Fine, Potter," I replied coldly.

He chuckled, pretending to be hurt. "I believe the situation requires a thank you from you, dear Lily."

I raised my eyebrows. "Don't hold your breath," I muttered, turning to stow my owl's cage on the rack beside the trunks. Loresis ruffled her gray wings in protest, almost knocking her cage off the shelf with her movement.

James shot an arm forward and caught the cage before it could fall, steadying it back onto the shelf and away from harm's reach.

"Looks like I saved your butt twice in the past five minutes," he commented nonchalantly, messing up his already rumpled shaggy black hair.

I let out a frustrated breath. "Thanks, Potter," I managed to blurt out before pushing past him and making my way down the train.

"Love you too, Lily!" was shouted from behind me. I groaned.

I came to a halt when I reached the second-to-last compartment. I grinned and fixed my hair before shoving the sliding doors open, not caring in the least when they reverberated off of the walls and came close to slamming into me.

"Lily!" shrieked a familiar voice.

"Aurie!" I yelled back, running to hug my best friends. "Alice! It's been so long since I've seen you both!"

Aurie grinned, tucking a lock of straight blonde hair behind her ear. She was a short, pretty girl of seventeen, with dark blue eyes and dark blonde hair, and was never seen without her trusty orange iPod, the only Muggle invention that she couldn't live without.

"How's your summer been, Lil?" asked Alice, the taller, shyer girl with her characteristic pale cream-colored skin and shoulder-length dark brown curls. She sank back into her seat after returning my hug and picked up the thick book she had been perusing.

I plopped myself down on one of the comfortable plush seats beside Aurie, who already had one headphone in her ear and was mouthing the words to one of her many favorite songs. I brushed some of my wavy red hair onto my shoulders before answering.

"Eventful. Petunia decided to find herself an awful new boyfriend. My dad got a new job." I shrugged.

Aurie smiled. "Good old Tuney. We can always count on her interesting choice of men to liven up our lives." She laughed loudly.

Alice rolled her eyes, but a small smile presented itself on her face. "Did you get any letters from _you-know-who_?"

I sighed. "Unfortunately, James found it necessary to write me almost every single week."

Alice's eyes widened. "Did you answer any of them?"

I laughed. "Just once. To tell him to bugger off or I'd report him as my stalker."

"CHECK YES, JULIET, ARE YOU WITH ME?" Aurie suddenly sang quite loudly. Alice and I turned to stare at her in wonder.

She stared back. "What?" she asked innocently.

The three of us burst into laughter. _This is going to be one great year_, I thought to myself as I smiled with my two best friends.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey (:, I hope you like the story! Please review, I'd like to see what people think of it.**

**Auriola Commissi is a character borrowed from a story called "Give Me One Good Reason" by Taylusia, who is my best friend (: Her story is a Sirius Black/OC, and it's really great, so you should read it!**

_**This chapter is named after the song, "Check Yes, Juliet" by a band called We the Kings.**_

**And yes, I know iPods weren't invented in those days, but let's pretend they were (:**

**Next chapter should come tomorrow, and will include more James, I promise. **

**Again, please review!**

**-MQ**


	2. Who Cares If We Make It Up?

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "I Must Be Dreaming" by The Maine.**_

I lurched forward in my seat slightly as the train rolled to an abrupt halt. A gentle laugh broke through my momentary cloud of annoyance, resulting from the fact that the stop had caused my book to fall out of my lap and lose my bookmark. I looked up from hurriedly turning pages to see Alice's amused expression, her laugh sounding pure and light as air in the loud train atmosphere. Her gaze was directed to the floor in front of her, where, tangled up in her mess of headphones, lay Aurie, glaring at no one in particular.

I choked back a laugh but didn't bother to hide the stubborn smile that crawled across my face.

"It's not funny," Aurie growled, picking herself up from the floor. "I think I scratched my iPod." She bent over the tiny orange electronic, inspecting it for damage with an experienced eye. Her affinity for clumsiness and mishaps with her possessions had led her to become an expert at mending spells, rendering them the only spells she could perform nonverbally.

Alice smiled and shook her head at Aurie in bemusement as she straightened up her willowy figure and began to gather up the various books and magazines that had managed to spill from her oversized red and gold striped duffel bag. I followed suit, shoving my bookmark in a random place in my book and then tossing the book quickly into my yellow-and-black-checkered messenger bag, throwing it over my shoulder quickly.

Aurie was the first one to reach the sliding doors of the compartment, pushing it open so hard that it rebounded against the frame, much the same way it had when I made my entrance. As I followed close behind her, trying to push through the multitude of distracted students spilling out of the compartments simultaneously, I heard the faint noises of a fast rock song echoing from her trusty headphones, plugged into her ears dutifully. I rolled my eyes and grabbed her shoulder lightly so we wouldn't be separated.

We finally made it out of the train and onto the landing, all in one piece. It was then that Alice's knowing eyes found their way to the shiny gold badge pinned onto my black robes, just under the Gryffindor lion symbol.

"Lily…" she began, her tone questioning, probably wondering why I hadn't bothered to mention my success to her earlier.

"Yes?" I asked innocently, blinking at her as if I had no idea why she was staring at me so suspiciously. She just raised her eyebrows.

Before she could question me about the badge, Aurie jumped a little in surprise and tore the headphones out of her ears, music still blasting from them, and made to shove them into her huge and colorful bag, covered with so many pins that it clanked with the slightest movement.

"What the—?" I started, but my inquiry was cut off by a louder, deeper, male voice.

"Hello there, ladies," said Sirius Black, walking toward us with a cocky grin on his attractive face. However much I hated his best friend, the ever-pestering James Potter, I couldn't deny that Sirius was rather handsome. With his shaggy black wavy hair, always hanging so perfectly in his deep brown eyes, tall built, and toned body, Sirius was the object of affection for almost every single female student at Hogwarts. "Almost" meaning the only two who weren't interested were Alice and myself.

"Sirius." Aurie acknowledged his presence with a curt nod.

Sirius turned his eyes onto Aurie, a warm and playful expression residing in them, making them twinkle with interest.

"Aurie!" he yelled, throwing his arms around her and crushing her in a bear hug. "How much I've missed your sarcastic humor all summer!" he remarked dramatically as he released her, putting a hand to his heart.

Aurie rolled her eyes and pretended to be very busy arranging the pins on her bag. Sirius grinned and looked to me.

"Lilykins!" he exclaimed, pulling me into the same overdramatic hug that he had shown Aurie a minute earlier, ignoring my grumbling.

Sirius pulled away from me a second later, as we both heard the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat. James Potter stood right beside his best friend, looking annoyed. Behind him was tall, slender, blonde and good-looking Remus Lupin and short, plump and mousy Peter Pettigrew, the remaining two Marauders.

"Better watch it, Black, or I'll give you detention," James said, half joking. Sirius let out his bark-like laugh while my eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. James wasn't a Prefect… He didn't have the authority to give detentions.

"I still can't believe _you _got Head Boy," Sirius commented in disbelief, shaking his head. "I always thought it would be good old Moony."

Alice gasped, Aurie's eyes left her bag, and I stood rooted to the ground, thinking my ears had deceived me. James _Potter_? Head Boy? Those words didn't belong in the same sentence!

"What?" asked James, looking at us as if we had gone crazy.

"You—Head Boy—not possible!" I spluttered, eyes wide.

James pretended to be offended. "Ouch, Evans. No faith in me?"

"I don't believe it," Aurie declared, crossing her arms. "There's no way in hell that Potter's Head Boy. Don't let him get to you, Lily."

"Challenging my boy, are you?" Sirius exchanged a look with James, who began to rummage through his book bag, finally pulling out a small gold badge and holding it above his head in triumph. It was really true.

"Jealous, are we, Evans?" said Potter arrogantly, pinning the badge to his robes. "I know you've wanted to be a Head since you found out what it was."

"Why would Lily be jealous?" Alice defended me. "She's Head Girl."

James grinned while Sirius laughed and slapped his friend on the back.

"Congratulations, Lily," said Remus politely, ignoring the antics of his best friends. I had always liked Remus; we had been Prefects together for the past two years.

I felt a light touch on my neck and looked down to see a hand gently pushing away my wavy red hair to reveal the gold badge underneath. I looked up and met James's eyes. I instantly slapped his hand away.

"Ow! What was that for?" He clutched his smarting hand in the other one, a puzzled expression on his face.

"You were touching my neck!" I protested angrily.

"I was just moving your hair! I wanted to see your badge!" James yelled back defensively. Then in a lower tone he added, "I wasn't going to hurt you, Lily."

"Well, I never gave you permission to touch me!" I was slightly off-balance by his use of my first name. He had always called me Evans, never Lily. And I had always called him Potter, not James. We weren't on friendly terms.

James narrowed his eyebrows. "Great comeback, Lily," he teased, smiling again.

"I'm emotionally distraught." I turned away from him, only to realize that no one else was around. Our friends had left us alone.

James didn't seem to care. "Oh, really?" he asked in an interested tone. "Please do tell me why."

I started walking, contemplating my answer. He caught stride with me easily, staring at me all the while.

"Because you called me Lily," I answered finally, biting my lip and refusing to look at him.

An awkward silence ensued. James Potter was at a loss for words? I finally turned my attention to him in shock. He was gazing determinedly at the ground, his eyes slightly hard.

"Sorry," he muttered, sounding bitter. I was completely confused. His mood swings were driving me insane.

We finally reached the carriages, the last one waiting for us. James jumped up first, then in an unusual show of manners, stuck out his arm and helped me up, then continued in his act of moody silence. I sighed and leaned back in my seat, dreading the long ride. I never thought the day would come where James would be mad at me, and I certainly didn't expect that I would dislike it even more than his normal behavior.


	3. Some Things, They, They Never Change

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "We All Roll Along" by The Maine.**_

**This chapter's dedicated to PottedLilies, for her really awesome reviews, and to Pepper Lane, for undertaking the difficult job of being my beta. I can't wait to work with you! **

_***Side note: This chapter has the original Author's Note at the stop, but it has been beta-ed since, thanks to the brilliance of Pepper Lane! **_

I, Lily Evans, am a bloody fool. I said it. The first step is admitting you have a problem. And I did that. I am very proud of myself right now.

But, boy oh boy am I pissed at myself for being so blind before. I wonder if I just _look_ like an idiotic, oblivious, skipping target that just screams, "Prank me! Prank me!"

Of course, it could also be the fact that I wear a Head Girl badge on my robes. It's really quite hard to miss. Not that I'd want anyone to miss it, of course; I'm relatively proud of my accomplishment. But I'm not a conceited airhead either! I can always leave that job up to the insufferably annoying toerag that—

Oh, bugger. Maybe I should start from the beginning? That would probably be best…my, I'm getting awfully good at answering my own questions. I should add "insanely talking to myself" to the list of side effects I get from James Potter's presence at Hogwarts. Maybe then Dumbledore would take that petition seriously…

Merlin, I really need more control over my own head.

Wait, someone's asking me a question. This would be the key time to practice that "pay attention to other people" skill that Mum's been dying for me to try out.

"I said, why is your hair blue, Lily?" Alice repeated, looking concernedly at me from her seat beside mine at the Gryffindor table. Across from us, Aurie gaped openly at my head, her fork halfway to her mouth.

"Is it _that_ noticeable?" I whispered, touching my hair lightly with my right hand.

Alice nodded ruefully. Aurie just continued to gape.

You see, after I'd arrived at the Great Hall twenty-five minutes late, I took a seat beside my best friends at our assigned House table. They informed me that I had missed Dumbledore's introductory speech, the Sorting, and then proceeded to question me about the color of the strands currently growing from my head. Well, one did. The other one mostly stared at me like I had grown horns. Not that I blame her. Much. Merlin, horns probably would have been an improvement.

I sighed, a loud and pitiable sound. Burying my face in my hands, I mumbled, "James sodding Potter and his stupid band of comrades."

"What?" Alice asked.

"Did you just say, 'comrades'?" inquired Aurie, sounding scornful. My friends like to snub my advanced vocabulary.

Alice waved her off, her eyes focused on me. And, er, my hair.

"What did they do?" Alice is very famous for her talent in comforting a person. She uses this soft voice and everything. It's usually very uplifting. However, the memory of the outrageous incident was too great of an opponent… Alice's words were only waving away the smoke at the top of the raging bonfire that my anger was currently imitating.

"_Well_," I began, my anger slowly rising again, "The whole stupid affair happened after my _so-called_ best friends decided to leave me with an axe-murderer. He pretended to be relatively nice to me, then got all upset for no reason, and then didn't speak to me for the entire carriage ride. However, as soon as we neared the school, our carriage mysteriously halted and refused to go any farther. So, I proposed we walk the rest of the way. Potter-I mean, the axe-murderer-became magically cheered up at that idea and agreed heartily, leading the way. Of course, as soon as I took two steps out of the bleeding carriage, I was hit by a Color-Changing Jinx. In the head, obviously."

I folded my arms across my chest and stared expectantly at both of them.

They simply stared back.

"That's it?" asked Alice, a little uncertainly.

"James isn't an axe-murderer," said Aurie, rolling her eyes.

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'that's it?' I was _viciously_ attacked! And shut up, Aurie."

Alice bit her lip. "I'm just saying, didn't you see who hit you with the jinx? Didn't you say something to that person?"

I took a slice of chocolate cake, ignoring the looks on my friends' faces.

"Er, shouldn't you wait until after dinner to take dessert?" Bless Alice's little heart. She's a polite soul.

"What's with the sugar overload?" I hate Aurie sometimes.

I took a bite of the cake. It was simply delicious. "Chocolate is the magical cure to all problems," I told them, "and yes, as a matter of fact, I _did _see who attacked me. I thought it was fairly obvious."

"Who was it?" Alice had her worried expression as she eyed me eating the cake.

Aurie stabbed at her food moodily. She looked up at me again. "Don't you have issues with chocolate?"

I set down my fork and played with an end of my hair, wincing when I noticed the color. "It was Sirius Black. He, Remus, and Peter were hiding behind some shrubbery across from us." I turned to Aurie. "No, I do not have issues with chocolate, thank you very much," I snapped.

"Okaaaay," sang Aurie, a skeptical expression on her face. "Just don't come crying to me when it happens _again_."

"It's not going to happen again!" I said defensively. "That was _one time_! And it was _years ago_!"

"Calm down, Lily," interrupted Alice. "Are you saying that the Marauders planned some kind of prank on you?" Her tone was disbelieving.

I widened my eyes. "Yes! I mean, I highly doubt it was an _accident _that they just-so-happened to be hiding across from the exact place our carriage broke down—which I suspect foul play in, as this is a magical school with magical carriages that _never_ break down—and happened to throw out a random Color-Changing Jinx just as I was getting out of the broken carriage with one of their best friends?"

I gestured with my hands, trying to make it seem like she was missing a huge clue. "Don't forget, Alice, that they are the Marauders, pranksters extraordinaire, not a bunch of lost puppies."

"You'd be surprised how many times I'm taken for the second one. But, then again, I'd rather not share the amount of pet names I've been given over the years with you." Sirius Black sat down beside me, on the opposite side of Alice, and began piling his plate with food as if there were no tomorrow.

I wasn't able to do anything other than splutter. "What on earth are you doing here?"

Sirius's eyes met mine casually; he was nonplussed. "What? I'm eating."

"If that's what you could call it," mumbled Aurie, looking at him in disgust.

Sirius put down his fork and grinned. "Would you like me to clean it up for you, love? I would do just anything to win your affections," he simpered.

"Oh, would you?" Aurie pulled her determined face. "How about you stop shoving your face like a _dog_, and start eating like a normal human being?"

Sirius froze. Then, all of a sudden, he started laughing maniacally. Aurie, Alice, and I looked on in relative shock.

"Er…" came a voice behind me. I turned around to see Remus Lupin staring at his friend as if the black-haired boy had gone utterly and irreversibly mad. Which, considering the way things looked, probably wasn't too far off from the truth.

Sirius sobered instantly and met his friend's puzzled gaze. "Moony," he said calmly, "Auriola called me a dog." He burst out laughing again, resting his head on the table.

Remus smiled weakly. He shook his head at us and walked off to the other end of the table, where Peter and James were evidently waiting for him. I watched as he told them what happened. Peter squeaked a few laughs, while James reacted the same way Sirius was at this very moment.

"Boys," I muttered, picking at the slice of cake on my plate.

"Speaking of," started Alice, "Why on earth did you turn Lily's hair blue in the first place, Sirius?"

He sat up, over his laughing fit. "Oh," he replied, "_That_." The question seemed to take him a few seconds of thought. Then he smirked.

"Was James's idea," he answered casually, shoving more food onto his already too-full plate.

I felt my face turn as red as a tomato. Redheads tend to have this weird anger problem, and I am true to my people.

"_What?_" I hissed, glaring at Sirius. Aurie and Alice exchanged warning looks.

"Now Lily-" Alice began, at the same time that Aurie said, "Lily, wait-"

But Sirius interrupted them both. "Yeah," he said, nodding, "James asked me to do it. Now would probably be a good time to change it back, though."

He gave his wand a lazy and carefree flick in the direction of my hair. I felt the odd tickling sensation of a bucket of room-temperature water being poured on my scalp, but it receded quickly. I snatched up a strand of my hair instantly and felt a bit calmer at seeing my familiar shade of red replacing the horrid Kool-Aid blue. But only a tiny bit calmer. The revelation that the whole stupid prank had originated from James Potter was enough to make me shake in fury.

I stabbed the chocolate cake with as much force as I could muster. It's a good thing I'm not very strong, or I would have punctured the table. Seriously.

"That bloody idiot better watch his back tonight," I said through my teeth, "if he even values it."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, looking amused. "Did you just _growl_, Lily-flower?"

"Yes," I muttered darkly, "Though I don't understand what importance that has to _you_."

Sirius laughed, choosing to ignore my jibe. "Pretty hot for the delicate Head Girl," he commented.

I chose to ignore his remark, but Aurie certainly didn't. It was fuel for her fire.

"Hot?" she choked. "Oh, how terribly classy! It's so refreshing to see that you treat women with maturity and respect!"

Sirius leaned closer across the table. "Whatever floats your boat, muffin." He winked at her.

Aurie rolled her eyes heavenward instead of replying.

Sirius sighed dramatically and leaned back in his chair again, arms crossed behind his head. "If you so choose to break my heart…" he said wistfully.

At this point, I was completely out of the conversation. I was feeling kind of funny… Like a snake was slithering up and down my digestive tract…

"I think I'm going to go to the common room," I said quickly, getting up from my place at the table. My friends simply nodded at me.

"I'll see you later, Lily!" yelled Alice as I retreated from the Great Hall, my funny feeling escalating into full-on nausea. I had almost reached the large double doors, when, as fate would have it, James Potter decided to talk to me.

"Lily!" he shouted, several paces behind me, "Lily, wait up!"

I stopped in my tracks, annoyance and anger taking over. Oh, he had the right to talk to me now?

James caught up to me in a matter of seconds.

"Lily," he panted, "I'm really sorry about what happened earlier. It wasn't my fault, I didn't know they were going to—are you feeling okay?"

He stared at me with concern. "Lily?" he repeated.

That's when the snake decided to slither all the way up my digestive tract and out of my system. All of my breakfast from the morning and the cake I had eaten a few moments earlier ended up on James's shoes.

After I finished emptying my stomach, I stared at James, shock and horror vying for the spot of dominant expression on my face. The Hall was oddly quiet. Perfect.

I whipped around and raced out of the Hall, my pace unwavering until I had reached the girl's lavatory. After splashing water onto my pale face, I ran all the way to the Gryffindor common room. Feeling worn, embarrassed, and extremely frustrated, I sank onto one of the plush red couches and put my head in my hands.

I had just thrown up.

I had just thrown up on James Potter.

I had just thrown up on James Potter in front of the entire school.

Bloody brilliant. Aurie was right. I really shouldn't eat too much chocolate.

**A/N: Okay, this is the non-betaed version of this chapter because I just couldn't wait to post it. Pepper Lane is going to work her brilliant magic over the contents of this story soon, and I'll repost all 3 chapters, but for now I just want to know what you think so far! Please review!**

**Thanks,**

**MQ**


	4. And This Just Can't Be It

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "We All Roll Along" by the Maine.**_

**Just a note for people reading this chapter for the first time… The Author's Note at the bottom is the original, but this chapter is now beta-ed, thanks to the amazing work of Pepper Lane (:. Thanks so much, Pepper!**

I had about five minutes of relative peace before the wolves descended. Well, they weren't _really _wolves (this isn't _Twilight_, folks), but they were an assortment of friends, gossip gurus, happy onlookers, and Marauders…which doesn't make a very good combination for an embarrassed Lily Evans.

Here I was, the supposedly amazing, flawless Head Girl, and I had already managed to embarrass myself in front of the entire student population of Hogwarts. Wow. First days are great, aren't they?

Of course, being the coward that I am, I didn't want to deal with all of them at once. So, I found a great solution in running up the stairs to the girls' dormitories and plopping down on my bed, drawing the curtains, and pulling the covers up past my head. Oh yeah, I'm a mature one.

This clever plot, however, didn't deter the species known as _bestus friendius_, so Alice and Aurie were standing breathless in front of me in a matter of seconds (they should really go out for a Muggle track team).

"Lily," rang Alice's voice firmly, "Stop hiding."

I emerged from my mass of sheets to find them both sitting on the edge of my bed (apparently, drawing the curtains doesn't mean anything to anyone these days). They had their arms crossed and looked tired, but other than that, their expressions were mainly ones of sympathy and worry.

"Don't say 'I told you so!'" I blurted. Aurie cracked a weak grin in response.

Alice ran a hand through her dark, curly hair. She always did this when she was avoiding the subject.

Finally, she let out a long breath. "Lily, you're going to have to face him eventually."

I shook my head.

"And why-ever not?" Alice looked exasperated.

"Because," I said childishly, "He made me mad and got what he deserved. I have nothing to apologize for. It was an accident, anyway. If he hadn't come and bothered me when I was leaving, he wouldn't have had, er, vomit on his shoes." I leaned back against my headboard.

Aurie shuddered. "Poor James. I know what _that's _like." She shot me a particularly nasty look.

"Hey!" I protested. "That was third year! And I said I was sorry like twelve times!"

She snorted. "I know, silly. It's just, you know, disgusting to have Lily-puke all over you. I can sympathize with James on this one."

I rolled my eyes at the casual way she said his name. Aurie was Gryffindor's Seeker, and James was the Captain. They had been friends and teammates since our fourth year.

Alice wrinkled her nose. "I know what it's like, too. I once visited Lily over the summer… Her mother bought us chocolate ice creams at the park. You can imagine what happened after Lily ate the whole thing."

"Ew," Aurie responded.

I threw my hands up in frustration. "Look guys, I'm really sorry for sharing my chocolate experiences with you in the past, okay? But can we please get back to the matter at hand? I've humiliated myself in front of everyone here, and neither of you seem to be helping!" I buried my face in the pillow in my lap.

"You're being over-dramatic. So you threw up! Big deal. If James can deal with it, so can everyone else. Trust me." Aurie sounded assured.

"Easy for you to say. You didn't also walk into the Great Hall super late, with blue hair. I'm sure Dumbledore is patting himself on the back in his choice for Head Girl," I said sarcastically.

"Well he also picked James. Obviously the man isn't counting on a job well done this year," Aurie teased.

Alice lay a hand on my arm gently. "What you need to do is apologize to James. I understand that you don't believe in it, but it'll make things better. The least it will do is show the rest of the school that Lily Evans doesn't care about stupid stuff ruining her reputation, right?"

Sometimes, I wonder how Alice _lives_. I mean, it's survival of the fittest out there. How does someone so sweet, gentle, and oh-so-innocently misguided manage to make it home at the end of the day?

I didn't bother to voice my thoughts. Instead, I gave her a wary look.

She just smiled at me. Oh, brother. She really believes in this feeble little plan, doesn't she?

"I think you just need some refreshment. You know, something to put in your body since you, er, got rid of everything else in there. I'll go get you some tea from the kitchens," Aurie piped up, jumping to her feet. She paused when she passed her state-of-the-art iPod stereo. "Do you want to listen to the music I pick when I need to relax?"

I shook my head quickly. "I, uh, have a headache," I added, not wanting to hurt her feelings. Knowing Aurie, the music was probably a blend of pounding guitar riffs, chaotic drumming, and very _loud_ vocals. That was the last thing I needed right now.

She just shrugged. "Wanna come with me, Alice?"

The tall girl blushed. "Um, actually, I'm going to go to the common room," she admitted, a little uncertainly. "I promised Frank I'd meet up with him tonight."

I smiled the tiniest smile and exchanged a knowing look with Aurie. Frank was Alice's longtime friend. She had known him since she was three years old, and he was her neighbor back home. Though she just shook her head at us when we said this, Aurie and I claimed that the two of them had unresolved romantic tension that would just come pouring out one day and result in them getting married.

Then, realizing the grasp of what Alice had said, I pouted. "Who's going to stay up here with me, then, and help me through my suffering?"

"No one," said Aurie. "That's why you need to get over your self-pitying and come join the rest of civilization in the common room."

I frowned. "You're going to leave me all _aloooooone_?" I made a puppy-dog face at Alice. Slowly, her resolve began to melt.

"Maybe I should cancel with Frank-" she began, making her way over to my bed.

"No!" Aurie yelled, running over to Alice and dramatically shielding the girl's eyes with her hand. "Don't give in to her powers!"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "Gee, thanks, Aurie."

She smiled angelically at me as she followed Alice out the door. "See you in a bit, love!" she chirped over her shoulder.

With a sigh, I realized that I had to apologize. No matter how much I hated his guts, the axe-mur—_James Potter_ would be the one guy I'd have to work with very, very, _very _often this term (oh, dear). And I intended on doing the job of Head Girl to the very best of my ability. I figured that having a relatively pleasant relationship with Potter was the first step to success.

However, I wasn't going to get down on my knees and beg or something. I had to do this the cool, calm, collected Lily Evans way…which meant that I would get Aurie to do it when he was distracted during Quidditch! Brilliant.

I was rummaging through my bookbag for a spare quill and parchment to write out my apology when Aurie burst in through the dormitory door, holding a cup of tea and looking very guilty.

I was surprised. "Didn't you just leave two minutes ago?" I mean, my epiphany didn't take _that _long, did it?

Aurie carefully set the cup on her bedside table. "Yeah," she admitted.

I stared at her. "So?"

She looked back, confused. "So what?"

"So how did you get back with tea so fast?" I asked, impatient.

She raised her eyebrows. "Keep your pants on, sister. _I _didn't get your tea. James did." She smiled. "He's such a sweetie."

By this point, I was in the middle of enjoying a sip from said tea, and after hearing the name of the person from which it originated, I proceeded to dramatically spit it across the room, all over a very surprised (and disgusted) Heather Cobbins, who had just entered our dorm.

"Ewww!" she screeched, "God, can't you keep _anything _down tonight, Evans?" She pranced off to our bathroom, probably to fuss over the spit-out tea in her perfectly straight blonde hair. Ugh, what a wuss.

"Get over it, Cobbins; you can always have Tim lick it off for you tonight!" Aurie shot back. A muffled sniff was all we heard in reply.

"Wait," I said, temporarily distracted, "She and Tim are _still _together?" Bloody hell. They'd gotten together at the end of last term!

Aurie grinned evilly. "Nope. He broke up with her on the train ride here. I'm just rubbing salt in the wound."

We both laughed. Now, don't start thinking I'm some hateful hag who delights in the misfortune of others. It's just, this is _Heather Cobbins _we're talking about. The very same Heather Cobbins who decided to hate me in first year because I had red hair and my parents were Muggles. In present-day, of course, her hatred is more complex. Basically, add to it that James Potter is in love with me and won't give her the time of day. When you think you're the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts, that's like a huge slap in the face.

As I laughed, I off-balanced my right hand slightly, which was still holding the James tea. The couple drops of burning liquid on my leg managed to remind me of the distrustful, and very hot, beverage.

"Bugger!" I exclaimed, setting the cup of tea down on the floor. "This stuff is bleeding hot!"

Aurie smirked as she flopped back on her bed. "Of _course _it's hot, Lily-flower! It's tea made from James's burning looooove for you!" She made kissy faces at me.

A sudden, horrible thought occurred to me. I jumped up in alarm. "What if it's laced with love potion?" I panicked. "Look what you did, you lousy best friend! I might fall in love with Potter and it's all your fault!"

"It wouldn't hurt you if you did," she responded airily. "But don't worry about it. The tea's just chamomile-mint, your favorite. No other additives. Your lousy best friend checked, believe it or not."

I continued to watch the tea out of the corner of my eye. "Why did _he_ get it, anyway?"

Aurie looked at me as if I was deluded. "Oh, gee, I don't know, Lily!" she said sarcastically, pretending to think really hard, "It _can't _be because he's been madly in love with you since the day he met you! Nah, it has to be much more complex than that!" She shook her head at me when she was finished.

I drew patterns on my bedcovers, feeling a bit sheepish. "I never wanted him to like me, you know," I mumbled.

Aurie huffed. "I know," she said, "But he does! And he's so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, _so _sweet! I don't understand why you won't just give him a chance."

I sat up straight, looking her directly in the eye. "Oh, yeah? Well, why don't _you _give _Sirius _a chance then, hmm?"

Aurie looked at a loss for words. "Um, uh, I mean…" she muttered, before settling for, "He's a womanizing piece of scum. He goes out with girls for ten minutes, gets a good snog and Merlin knows what else, and then dumps them so they come crying back to their friends. And besides, he's not even that attractive."

I laughed. "Sirius _Black_? Not that attractive? You must be joking!"

Aurie turned beet-red, but wouldn't give in. "Then why don't you go out with him, Lily?"

I decided to scare her. I pretended to think about it for a minute. "You know what? I think I will."

She gaped at me, shell-shocked. "What?" she asked.

I smiled. "I'm going to go ask him out right now, as a matter of fact."

"You are?"

"Yes," I said with determination, "I am." I got up from my place on the bed and marched to the door. I looked back at Aurie as I opened it. She was unmoving on her bed, staring at me with the widest eyes I'd ever seen.

"You look like a house-elf," I commented.

She snapped out of it to frown at me. "Thanks," she spat.

"You're welcome," I said seriously. "You should change your name to Kreacher."

"Okay, the fact that you know the name of Sirius's family's house elf is just creepy," she admitted.

"The fact that you know the name of Sirius's family's house elf that I just said is correct is creepier," I shot back.

"Yeah, well, why don't you go ask him out? Then the two of you can go out for dinner and you can throw up on him during the chocolate dessert! While you call the house-elf by his _name_!" she yelled.

We stared at each other, completely still. Then, without warning, we burst out laughing at the same time. It got so bad that I had to move away from the door and throw myself onto the nearest bed (Heather's best friend Olivia Podmore's).

"That—was—good!" I admitted through laughing.

"We—are—so—dumb!" she spluttered back, wiping tears from her eyes. Suddenly, she stopped laughing. "Oh," she said apprehensively.

I sobered up as well. "What's wrong?"

Aurie grinned. "Nothing's _wrong_. I just remembered something! James wanted me to give you something."

She pulled a crumpled piece of parchment out of her back pocket and unfolded it, cleared her throat, and began to read in a horrible impersonation of a male voice.

"Dear Lily, I'm really sorry for what happened to your hair. I had nothing to do with it, I promise. I'm also sorry that you're sick and hope you feel better soon. Sincerely, James."

Aurie held the parchment to her heart and threw her eyes to the ceiling, Juliet-esque. "Isn't he the _sweetest_?"

I looked at her with a puzzled expression on my face. "Umm, no?"

Aurie sighed. "Oh, come on, Lily! You _know_ it was nice of him to write out an apology to you and bring you tea! You have to admit that no other boy has ever done that for you before."

I sighed dreamily. "Derek would do it."

Aurie laughed as she dropped the parchment. "Ooooh, Derek," she teased, "The love of Lily Evans's life."

I propped my head up on my crossed arms, under my chin. "Yes," I sighed again, "Derek Croer. The most beautiful Ravenclaw that God decided to smile upon."

"He's not _that _cute," said Aurie skeptically. I glared at her.

"You wouldn't understand, as you're not madly in love with him," I said defensively, causing her to laugh at me again.

"You are such a creepy stalker! You've barely even said two words to the guy!"

"_No_," I insisted, "I've definitely had full conversations with lovely Derek. Last term, he asked me for an answer in Arithmancy twice. In Herbology, he asked me for a spare quill. And once, when I bumped into him in the hallway, he smiled at me and apologized." I opened my eyes wide at her.

She just made a face. "Wow, what a whirlwind romance," she noted sarcastically.

"Whatever," I sniffed, "You just don't understand."

We left it at that. After a few games of Aurie-thinks-it's-funny-to-chuck-all-the-pillows-from-the-dormitory-at-me, we both retired to our own beds, too tired to wait for Alice to come back from the common room.

With a head full of Derek Croer, house elves, and exploding cups of tea, I finally managed to fall asleep, to the oddest dreams come across since Alice fell down that bloody rabbit hole. Which, you know, was written by a guy on drugs.

**Hello, lovely readers!**

**I just wanted to say thank you for all the adds and perfectly adorable reviews I got! It's really awesome to see that you like the story! Since, you know, I wrote it… And several parts of it are inspired from my own life and ramblings. So, thank you (:.**

**This chapter is also un-betaed, because I frankly don't know what happened to my beta. I'm worried ****.**

**Pepper! If you're out there, shoot me an email, please! I want to know what happened to you!**

**Anyways, please leave a review as you exit this chapter. It'll bring the next one faster (;.**

**-MQ**


	5. Just Aiming to Please

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "Poppin' Champagne" by All Time Low.**_

**This chapter goes out to my best friend Taylor! She's the real Auriola Commissi, as well as her creator (: **

You'd think that with seven able-bodied witches sleeping in one dorm, at least one of them would have the sense to set an alarm clock for the first day of term. However, neither Lily Evans, nor Alice Prewitt, nor Auriola Commissi, nor Mary Macdonald, nor Samantha Hallowes, nor Heather Cobbins, nor Olivia Podmore bothered to remember to find a method to wake up the next morning. They all assumed that one of the others would do it. In the defense of the particularly clever and lovely Lily Evans, however, this thought was justified, as one of her _very best friends _has a high-tech, state-of-the-art iHome that she _normally sets _on school nights.

Okay, the third-person is getting a little weird. But, obviously, this morning didn't rank as one of the best ones of my life. Even when, by some miracle, Alice woke up this morning, she didn't find it necessary to wake up anyone other than Aurie. Aurie, on her part, makes such a racket with all of her hair products and morning preparations that the entire rest of our dorm woke up on their own. Oh, except for me. Apparently, I'm not important enough to remember to rouse until _the middle of bloody Transfiguration_.

Sodding bugger.

When I woke up this morning, it was to shouts of "Lily! Wake up, for God's sake!" and "Lily Evans, I'm going to kick your arse right out of bed at this very second!" and something that sounded like "I'm hungry, dammit!"

Feeling bleary, confused, worried, and disorganized, I just about _flew_ to first block (which sounds important when you're a Muggle, but doesn't make much of an impact when you're a witch), only to have to face McGonagall's rather scary "why-is-the-Head-Girl-an-hour-late-to-class" look. Which, as I've never been Head Girl or an hour late to class before, I've never seen. Until now. And kind of wish I didn't. As it's frightening.

I quickly sat down, not paying attention where, feeling like utter crap. I probably looked like crap too, since the extent of my hygienic operations today consisted of brushing my teeth as Alice pulled my messy red waves into a semi-neat ponytail. Normally though, I apply a tiny bit of mascara and eyeliner, and bother to straighten my uniform before I bolt to class. So, today I probably looked like one of those people that have no eyelashes, since mine are pretty light in color naturally. Joy.

Of course, my day got better when I realized just who I had sat down next to. In the horrid pattern that my life has been taking lately, it wouldn't seem to be much of a detour to say that I accidentally picked the seat that is avoided _for a reason_.

To his credit, Severus actually looked pretty uncomfortable as well. He stiffened in his seat instantly and refused to meet my eye, which was fine with me. I didn't want to talk to him. Deep down, his words still hurt, and I would give almost anything to avoid that living with that pain again.

Needless to say, the period was exceedingly awkward. Severus had always been dreadful at Transfiguration, and I was excellent, so our "partner-work" consisted mainly of me finishing the spell early and proceeding to watch him struggle, red in the face, for the remainder of the time McGonagall allotted. Mercifully, none of the assigned spells required conversation between the partners.

I nearly shot out of my seat when the bell rang; I was so eager to get away from Severus. But, of course, I didn't have a proper schedule, just a mumble of "your first class is Transfiguration!" from Alice, so I had to talk to McGonagall after class to receive my official class list.

She was rather irritable when I approached her, which was mainly because she had just finished telling Sirius Black off for causing some sort of commotion at breakfast this morning. I didn't know about it, since my late start caused me to miss the morning meal, but had been acquainted with Sirius long enough to guess that it involved loud singing and obscene hand gestures. _All _of his pranks involved those two things.

"Er… Professor?" I said meekly, watching her scribble something at her desk quite violently, causing her quill to poke a hole in the parchment. Sighing, she repaired it with magic before taking off her glasses and looking inquisitively at me.

"Yes, Miss Evans?" Her tone was a bit cold.

"I was wondering if you could give me my schedule, perhaps? I had a bad start this morning and missed breakfast." I blinked at her innocently, maybe communicating an image of me studying so avidly in my dorm that I lost track of time. Or something like that.

She raised her eyebrows at me coolly, but wordlessly tapped a piece of blank parchment near her right hand anyway. She snatched it up impatiently and stuck it out for me to take.

I accepted the schedule, feeling a little nervous. Perhaps it's immature, but I always feel nervous when I look at my classes for the first time. No, it's not a worry that I won't have any of them with my friends, though that is part of it. Mainly I'm anxious that I'll screw up everything and later spend my time wishing to go back to this first moment that I see the words on the parchment. It's a really dismal thought, but one I can't seem to control.

"Thanks," I said quietly. McGonagall nodded in response, waving me off as she focused on the stack of parchment at her desk. I couldn't imagine what she was grading, as it was the first class of the year, but decided against asking. She would probably only get annoyed with me.

"Oh, Miss Evans?" I paused at the door, my hand resting against the familiar frame.

"Yes?" I responded.

McGonagall met my gaze, looking straight into my eyes with the intimidating authority she possessed. "I hope that you and Mr. Potter have a schedule with the Prefect meetings set up? He's also the Quidditch Captain this year and I'd hate for meetings to interfere with Gryffindor taking the cup _again_ this year." She tried not to show any emotion, but I could have sworn that I saw the hints of a smug smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"We'll make one as soon as possible," I promised. She nodded in approval, and I figured it was my signal to leave.

I took a closer look at my class list as I left her classroom. I was supposed to be headed for Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Agathmonte, after which I had a short break before Arithmancy with Professor Vector. Next was lunch, and after that was another break before Double Potions with Slughorn. All in all, today's classes weren't too bad. I started to feel slightly more relieved.

I arrived at the Defense classroom slightly early, allowing me to have a free range of seats to choose from. My heart lifted further when I saw Aurie march determinedly into the classroom. I waved frantically at her and patted the seat next to me with excessive enthusiasm. She rolled her eyes but smiled as she sat down beside me.

"How was Transfiguration?" she asked, pulling out some parchment.

"Terrible." I lowered my voice. "I had to sit next to Severus. It was the most awkward moment of my life."

Aurie raised her blonde eyebrows. "Well, Merlin, that must have sucked. Wasn't Alice in your class, though?"

I shook my head sadly. "She must have it at a different time. When do you have it?"

Aurie rummaged through her bag for several minutes before pulling out her schedule, already creased and torn. "Ummm…" she mused, running her eyes over it. "I have good old McGonagall next block, actually."

I stared at her, eyes opened wide.

"What?" she asked, clearly alarmed at my shocked state.

"You have it with the Ravenclaws!" I shrieked. "You have no idea how unbelievably jealous of you I am right now. You could stare at Derek all period!" I shook her shoulders, trying to get her to get the full grasp of the situation. She just muttered something incoherent under her breath and turned back to her schedule.

"Lemme see!" I grabbed the parchment from her and skimmed over it. I brightened considerably at what I saw. "We've got Potions together today, and Herbology and Charms together tomorrow!"

Aurie gave me a small smile. "Alice has Potions and Herbology with us, too." She leaned over to read my schedule. "Oh, and the two of you have Ancient Runes together tomorrow, as well. Which leads me to ask, why are you even taking that class?"

I stuck up my chin defensively. "It's a fascinating subject! You would know if you hadn't gone and picked the easy class." I scoffed at her choice of elective.

She laughed lightly. "Lils, Muggle Studies is only easy for _you_. The rest of us struggle over the concepts of mechanics and electric-whatever until we fall asleep from boredom and over-concentration."

I poked her side. "Over-dramatization," I sang. She just shrugged.

I watched the other students file into class, realizing that I had completely forgotten to take note of who was in my Transfiguration class. I would have to sit with someone completely different tomorrow, of course, and it would help if I knew who I had to choose from.

"Hello, Lily," said Mary Macdonald pleasantly as she and her best friend Samantha Hallowes took seats at the table next to ours. I gave her a small half-smile. Mary was a really nice girl and a stellar roommate, but for some reason, my conversations with her always consisted of polite nothingness.

"Commissi! Awesome; we have yet another class together, my dear!" said Sirius playfully as he walked confidently to our table, Remus trailing after him. Aurie just gave him a dark look in response.

I looked to Remus. "How on earth do you manage to get along with him?" I joked, inclining my head in Sirius's direction.

"I guess I'm the unofficial babysitter of the group," said Remus, smiling at me.

"Someone has to keep them from going too far," I agreed.

Sirius chuckled. "That would be up to ickle Jamiekins, the new Head Boy." He turned around, looking at the doorway. "Where is he, anyway? He's supposed to have this class."

I felt something sink in my stomach at the mention of his name. I still hadn't gotten a chance to apologize to him for throwing up on his shoes. Unfortunately, my rather clever plan of slipping a note to Aurie wouldn't work anymore, since I actually had to face him now. Great.

Aurie nudged me in the ribs with her elbow. "I'll bet Lily's got something really important to say to James, right?" She spoke to me as if to an imbecile.

I crossed my arms, scowling at her. "I would have remembered to _apologize _to him on my own, thank you very much. There's no need to babysit _me_." I overemphasized my words.

She patted me on the arm reassuringly. "I know you were," she said after a moment, "but I just wanted to make sure that you weren't planning on chickening out. After all, it's only proper after he brought you tea and wrote that lovely note."

As if I needed to be reminded. Really, friends can be terrible people sometimes.

"Remus wrote that note," said Sirius bluntly, looking up from the absent-minded doodles on his parchment. "James had no idea what to say, so he had Moony here write it."

Remus gave Sirius an annoyed look. "I only helped, that's all."

"Right," muttered Sirius, rolling his eyes.

Suddenly, the bell rang, silencing the class. James Potter rushed through the door at that very instant, looking tired and out of breath. He quickly spotted the empty seat beside me, across from Sirius, and dumped his things there without a second glance at any of us.

Professor Agathmonte took his place at the head of the classroom, looking slightly bored, as he always did. A tall, bespectacled and reedy-looking man of about fifty, he always spoke quietly and gently, never changing mood. His Defensive magic, however, was nothing like his shy demeanor; he could fire powerful spells with the best of 'em.

"Good morning, class," he said unenthusiastically. A dead-sounding murmur echoed throughout the students. Agathmonte didn't seem to notice.

"Today we will be practicing what you've learned about the effectiveness of non-verbal defense. I would like all of you to pair up and practice Stunning one another. Remember not to say anything aloud."

Following instructions, Aurie and I stood up from our seats and moved away from the table, out into the open space of the classroom that was always used for practicing duels. We found an empty place beside two mats and held our wands at the ready.

The spell was a simple one to perform, and I had Aurie out cold in a matter of minutes.

"Very good, Miss Evans," droned Agathmonte as he passed by, "Ten points to Gryffindor."

Aurie was slightly irritable when she was conscious again. "I wish he didn't have us practice spells that leave us bruised," she mumbled, rubbing her sore back.

"Stunning is the most effective way of defeating an opponent in a duel," I recited. "You get the benefits of winning without performing something as morally wrong as killing someone."

Aurie gave me a bored look. "Sometimes I wish you _weren't _a walking textbook," she said thoughtfully, before proceeding to point her wand at me and Stun me effectively. Though I wouldn't have deflected the spell (that wasn't the point of the lesson), I wished she would have given me a fair warning. The act of surprise made me feel undignified.

After everyone managed to perform the spell successfully, Agathmonte transitioned to the next part of the lesson, which was note-taking on successful dueling strategies. It was fairly boring, simplistic work that left a spot open for conversation amongst the tables.

I turned to Aurie, ready to tell her about a bit of gossip I heard about Cobbins in Transfiguration this morning. She, however, proceeded to deftly ignore me and focused on taking diligent notes instead. I was surprised. Aurie was a good student, but she never paid particular attention in class and always made fun of the goody-two-shoes personality I adopted when it came to schoolwork. I supposed she had an attitude similar to the lazy but clever Sirius Black, who at this moment was deliberately ignoring the lecture and choosing to draw very elaborate paw prints all over what looked like Remus's schedule.

Aurie passed me her notes very carefully. I looked at them and then back at her confused. She noticed my puzzled expression and very obviously pointed out some writing in silver ink on the margins. Oh. OH. She had written me a note.

I gave her a thumbs-up to show I understood and examined her paper again.

_I'm not talking to you until you tell James you're sorry._

I gave a very loud sigh at this, causing James to pay attention to me for the first time since he had entered the class. He looked from me to Agathmonte, amused at the Professor's obvious lack of interest in my interruption.

I held up one finger at him. His brow furrowed, but he nodded slowly and waited.

I ripped off half a sheet of parchment and tried to copy the exact words I had formed in my head last night.

_Potter_, I wrote, _I'm sorry for throwing up on you last night at the feast. It was an accident that could have been avoided if you had taken certain precautions, but I still feel sort of bad about it. I hope you will accept this formal apology. Yours, Lily Evans_.

Feeling particularly proud of my composition, I cleverly slid it over to him and tried to pay attention on the lecture again. Not two minutes later, I observed my original piece of parchment being slid back to me, with new writing on it. I leaned over to read the exceptionally small print.

_It's fine. –JP_

I have to admit that the tiny addition came as unexpected. Normally, James would have leaped at the chance to communicate with me, ultimately resulting in some kind of ridiculous show of his faux-affection that ended in me screaming at him while Sirius laughed from the sidelines.

I snuck a peek at James. He looked like he was actually paying attention, another shocking revelation. He _never _paid attention. He was the strongest of anyone I know at DADA, and never even needed to practice. Furthermore, he hardly ever listened in any of his other classes, let alone one he probably thought was exceptionally easy.

I bent over the torn parchment, scribbling my next words.

_By the way, McGonagall wants us to make a schedule for the Prefect meetings. When do you want to do that?_

James waited until he was finished with the sentence he had been scrawling before looking at the note. I tapped my fingers on the desk with impatience until Aurie flashed me a look that clearly wished me a painful death if I continued. I gulped and put my hands in my lap.

By this time, James had pushed his answer back at me. I snatched it up to read.

_She told me that, too. We're going to have to plan around Quidditch practices, however, which I've scheduled for Mondays and Thursdays, every week. Maybe we could meet up in the common room later?_

I studied the note. _He _had planned the practices? How did that work?

_How come you get to plan practices? Isn't that the Captain's job?_

James gave me an exasperated look when he read my writing. He wrote his response quickly before throwing it at me.

_I am the Captain._

I blushed, feeling slightly foolish.

_Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like you were incapable of the job, I just didn't… think. Congratulations on that. What time in the common room? Is 6 alright?_

James looked thoughtful for a few minutes before he finally wrote back.

_Okay._

I exhaled quietly, relieved. I pointed my wand at the paper and mumbled a spell under my breath, causing it to become blank and new once again.

I picked up my quill, ready to finally be my usually attentive self again, when the bell rang, ending class.

Aurie gave me a skeptical look as she registered my expression. Then she gave a short laugh.

"You didn't focus on the lesson the entire time, did you?" she accused as we departed the classroom.

I blushed. "No, actually I didn't. Can I borrow your notes later?"

She seemed to be contemplating whether or not I was serious. "Lily," she said sternly, "did you really think that _I_ paid attention?"

"Then what were you doing?"

She looked at her feet. "Well, Black drew all over my paper so I was passing notes to him to knock it off."

I smiled knowingly at her before we parted ways, she to Transfiguration and I to Gryffindor tower, where I hoped to fix my appearance before heading off to Arithmancy.

I burst in the door of my dorm, breathing heavily. I was pleased to find it devoid of anyone other than myself. I didn't have time for pleasant conversation, no matter how much I would have enjoyed it.

I rushed to the bathroom, splashing some water onto my face. Toweling it off quickly, I proceeded to apply my light amount of makeup. I sighed in relief when my watch told me I still had enough time to do something with my hair.

Ten minutes later, I was strolling peacefully to Professor Vector's classroom, my uniform fixed, makeup flawless (well, as flawless as _I_ could make it), and hair straightened and loose around my shoulders. I had to admit that I felt pretty good.

That feeling, of course, didn't last as long as I had hoped it would. Because, as I entered the door, my eyes rested directly on none other than Derek Croer, the beautiful seventh-year Ravenclaw of my highly imaginative dreams. He sat in the very back of the classroom, the seat beside his empty. My heart began to thump erratically.

I tried to calm myself as I took a seat not far from his. But, really, what use was it? With his almost shoulder-length light brown hair (mussed to perfection, I might add), tall and lanky frame, slightly and endearingly crooked front teeth, and deep, light-green eyes, Derek was the image of all that was gorgeous in my heart. Every time I saw him, I almost _melted_. He had that air of shy confidence, the shadow of mystery, the edge of rebellion, _and _the underlying aura of artistic talent, all in one amazing person. It was enough to make a girl go crazy!

I was in the middle of dipping my quill in ink when Professor Vector approached my desk.

"Miss Evans?" she said politely.

I looked up, setting down my quill.

She smiled a bit uncertainly, her black eyes looking a bit tired. No doubt she had been up until midnight preparing for class today. "I prepared a seating chart for this class. This isn't your assigned seat. Would you mind moving your things and sitting next to Mr. Croer?"

I felt my eyes widening as I took in the words that she said in her quiet and kind tone. Septima Vector was a very young teacher with straight, long, ink black hair, matching eyes, and porcelain skin. She had a kind and almost-shy personality edged with the determination and passion she had for teaching, which made her one of my absolute favorite teachers at Hogwarts, even though the assignments from her class made up a vast majority of my homework load.

"Uh, s-sure," I stuttered. Professor Vector smiled at me and walked back up to the front of the room, where she began to scribble on the chalkboard.

I collected my things ungracefully, managing to crumple up several sheets of parchment and spill red ink on my bag in the process. With my heart pulsing nervously in my chest, I made my way to Derek's table and dumped my belongings on the surface of my side of our shared desk.

He looked up the noise, causing my breathing to become more panicked. In and out, I reminded myself.

Derek didn't seem to notice my internal malfunctions. "Hey," was all he said, giving me a small smile. I started to wonder what he would think of me if he knew what those simple actions were doing to my fragile circulatory system.

"Er, hi," I managed, the words coming out slightly breathless. Damn.

I pulled out my chair and sat down swiftly, managing not to trip or do anything else clumsy in my actions. I was known for being incredibly awkward when I was nervous. I usually knocked down everything and everyone in my range of sight. Aurie liked to remind me of this fact every time she sat next to me in a classroom.

"My name's Derek," said the heavenly boy of my dreams, pushing some of the shaggy light brown hair from his captivating eyes. "Derek Croer, Ravenclaw. And you are?"

I am the woman of your dreams. Your future wife. The mother of your beautiful children. "I'm Lily Evans, Gryffindor."

Derek grinned. "Ah, the famous Head Girl. I've, uh, heard a lot about you already."

CURSE MY BLASTED LIFE. What had he heard? "Really? Well, I'm not as interesting as the rumors make me out to be. Or as crazy." My voice came out a little shaky.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "I haven't heard anything about you being crazy, that's for sure. But I'll keep my ears open," he promised. I was lost in the patterns of his voice, which sounded like it was always on the verge of breaking, and yet it never did. He should seriously try singing. _I_ would listen to it.

I gave a nervous laugh. "Let's hope those open ears don't pick anything up, shall we?" Smooth! Lily Evans one, Embarrassing World zero. The angel choir in my head was singing golden notes of pure triumph.

He rewarded me with his crooked smile again. "Sure," he agreed, then turned to his parchment and picked up his quill. Professor Vector had started lecture, and I hadn't even noticed.

I felt a dumb grin spread across my face as I bit my lip and started my own notes, watching Derek out of the corner of my eye the entire time. I was definitely going to love Arithmancy this year.

**Author's Note: Hey guys! This chapter's a bit longer than the last, so I hope you enjoy it! Also, I know there wasn't a lot of James in it, but I've got some big plans for him coming up really soon! I hope you all liked Derek's cameo appearance; I certainly loved writing it!**

**Please, please, please leave me a review as you leave! I'd really love to hear your feedback about my characters, plot, etc.**

**Thanks so much!**

**-MQ**


	6. Before I Cause More Damage

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "Running From Lions" by All Time Low.**_

**Many, many, many thanks to all of you reviewers! I love that you are giving me such great feedback! So, without further ado, I dedicate this chapter to all of you: (Anonymous Reviewer), lily-james-forevs, tic tac toe 03, Linkin goat, PottedLilies (extra-special because your reviews make my day!), GMPFan, Carsme Cullen, and my best fraaan, Taylusia.**

**Keep up the greatness, guys! (:**

"Man, I _love _potatoes."

I stared at the short blonde girl sitting on my right, a look of incredulity on my face.

Aurie focused her green-blue eyes on me as well. "What?" she asked, piling her plate with at least twelve helpings of mashed potatoes.

I raised an eyebrow. "I think you are the only person at Hogwarts who eats potatoes for lunch. That's just _weird_."

She laughed. "Oh, yeah? Look at Croer." She pointed towards the Ravenclaw table (as if I could miss it-it's been at this school since before my great-great-grandparents were born) and smirked.

Derek sat at the end of the table, a few seats away from his fellow classmates. He was scribbling avidly on a piece of parchment, looking _adorably _frustrated. His brown hair was more disheveled than it had been last period, and his right hand was covered in spots of ink.

"I see him," I breathed, resting my cheek on my palm and sighing dreamily.

Aurie closed her eyes and rubbed her temple wearily. "No, Lily, look _around _him."

I did as I was told, flicking my eyes in his direction once more. "He sits alone. How hot is _that? _I swear, he gives off this whole 'lone wolf' sort of vibe. I bet you a Galleon that he's writing something totally artistic right now, like a poem…or a song! And it's probably about angst, and being heartbroken, and-"

She cleared her throat loudly, breaking my train of thought. "I _meant_," and here I could tell she was losing her little bit of patience, "look at his plate."

"Oh," I said simply, blushing as I realized what she was talking about. Beside Derek's wonderful frame sat a plate full of only mashed potatoes. Damn.

My best friend grinned. "Who's the weird one now, Evans?" She dug into her food.

"Still you," I muttered, picking up my fork and lazily stabbing into my chicken parmo. Though I had been starving this morning, my appetite had somehow managed to fade away during Arithmancy.

"Sorry I'm late, guys," said Alice, dropping her book bag on the floor and sliding onto the bench across from me. "Divination was endless, as usual. What did I miss?" She looked at us expectantly.

"Lily's gone anorexic," commented Aurie drily, placing another forkful of her weird choice of food into her mouth.

Alice turned her chocolate-brown eyes on me, narrowing them in a way that reminded me of my mother. I couldn't help smiling.

"I'm just not very hungry." I shrugged. "Maybe it's because of who I sat next to in my last class." I turned my eyes away from their curious expressions, fighting to keep the corners of my mouth from turning up as I traced the patterns in the wood of the table.

"Who?" asked Alice, helping herself to some salad (she's been a vegetarian since she was ten) and taking a cautious sip of pumpkin juice.

I brushed a stray strand of red hair from my face and twisted it idly around my finger, enjoying the suspense of the moment. "Oh, I don't know… Derek Croer, maybe?"

Alice nearly choked on her pumpkin juice. "_What?_" she spluttered, coughing and wiping her mouth.

"_Seriously?_" Aurie screeched, wide-eyed.

I laughed, sweeping my red side bangs out of my left eye. "Why so shocked?" I asked, grinning.

Aurie turned to Alice. "You reckon she's telling the truth?"

Alice shrugged. "I suppose. Lily usually doesn't lie about these sorts of things. She likes to make up fantasies, sure, but she is never lenient with the truth," she remarked thoughtfully.

"Yeah, but wouldn't she be freaking out if that had really happened?" Aurie still sounded skeptical.

Alice poured Italian dressing over her salad and mixed it with her fork. She took a small bite and swallowed before answering. "I think she would be enjoying our disbelief. And that, if you haven't noticed, is what she's currently doing."

"You're right. And she _is _smiling too much. It's kind of creepy." Aurie stared openly at my face.

My grin faded and was replaced by a scowl. "I'm right here, you know."

Peacemaker Alice nodded solemnly, her dark curls bouncing around her pale face. "We know, Lily. She's sorry, aren't you, Aurie?" She shot her a stern look.

Aurie smiled. "Oh, yes," she said dramatically. "I beg thee of your forgiveness, my dearest Lily! I shall do anything to win back your favor!"

Alice smiled placidly and resumed eating her salad.

I smirked mischievously. "Wow, Aurie, that sounded _a lot _like something Sirius Black would say."

Her expression darkened. "What's your point?" she said flatly.

I drank some water before answering, trying to appear casual. "I don't know, maybe that you _love _him?" I nudged her in the ribs.

She cursed under her breath, but otherwise ignored me. I looked to Alice and saw with surprise that she was frowning. I followed the direction of her gaze and saw that a crowd had gathered just outside the doors of the Great Hall. Curiosity sparked, I surreptitiously pushed my lunch aside and rose out of my seat, stepping over the wooden bench.

"I'll be right back," I muttered, "Head Girl business."

My friends exchanged worried looks, but I ignored them and marched towards the door, feeling my stomach flutter worriedly in anticipation. I couldn't help feeling that something was wrong, that I was going to see something that I wouldn't like.

I was right. As I pushed past the throb of onlookers, a sight that I hated and hoped I would never see again came into my line of vision.

James and Severus were pacing in a circle, their wands held at the ready. The looks on their faces were enough to tell me that they weren't just practicing some new spells. This was a duel in the making.

Just as I opened my mouth to say something, _anything_ to get them to stop acting like a bunch of bloody fools, Severus raised his wand and gave it a distinct flick, sending an unfamiliar flash of ice blue light right at his opponent. James dodged it with a small amount of difficulty and picked himself back up, sending a Stunning Spell back at Sev, who deflected it and responded with a jet of purple light…

Acting on an impulse, I raised my own wand and shrieked, "_Protego!_"

A blue shield erupted between the two duelers, who turned to look at me in surprise. Sev's spell bounced off of the shield and shot back to him with alarming speed, but he slashed his wand in the air and it vanished.

I lowered my wand slowly, feeling the strength of my shield emanating throughout the hallway.

"That is quite enough," said a cool voice. Professor McGonagall came into view, emerging from the shadowed part of the hallway, her arms crossed and her upper lip pursed.

The sound died in my throat, and a sinking feeling coursed in my stomach, causing my shield to vanish with a quiet _pop!_

McGonagall stopped walking when she was only a few feet from us. "I have to say that I'm very disappointed in the three of you," she continued, "I would have expected better from seventh years, especially since two of you are from my own house, and Head Boy and Girl to boot!"

Wait, _what? _The _three_ of us? Head _Girl_?

"Professor-" James started, but she interrupted him.

"No explanations, please, Mr. Potter. Seeing as it is the beginning of the year, I will give a small amount of mercy. Instead of losing your positions, you and Ms. Evans will only receive two weeks of detention, to be served at eight o'clock every evening with Mr. Filch. Mr. Snape will have the same punishment, but he will serve it with Hagrid. I expect to see all three of you reporting to your respective places tonight."

"But Lily didn't-" James tried again, but was silenced with the sharp look McGonagall gave him.

"Unless you want another month of detention added for the three of you, I would suggest keeping quiet, Potter," said McGonagall. "Good day." She swept past us.

I suddenly felt very faint. My legs weren't able to support me any longer. I began to fall…

And was caught by a pair of sturdy arms, just as I would have hit the ground. I opened my eyes to see a pair of clear hazel ones staring at me with a look of concern.

James pulled me upright. As soon as I was on my feet, I scanned the hallway. We were alone. It seemed that Severus and the crowd had disappeared along with McGonagall.

"Are you okay?" asked James, studying me as if he were worried that I would snap.

I put a hand to my forehead. "I—you—my spell—detention?"

James raised his eyebrows at my attempted speech. "Yeah," he sighed, "We've got detention tonight. I'm really sorry, Lily. None of this was your fault."

Suddenly I felt my energy restored. He was right. None of this was my fault. I didn't deserve to be punished for the first time in my life! This was all _his_ fault!

I glared at him. "I can't _believe _you were such an idiot! It's _your _fault we got detention! You had to go and be a complete, immature bleeding _dolt _and fight with Severus, and now _I'm _being punished for saving your sorry arse!"

James looked taken aback. He edged away from me, his hands put up in a gesture of surrender, his wand stashed in the pocket of his robes.

"Look, Lily, I apologize-"

"You _apologize?_ And you think that's just going to make everything okay? Well let me tell you, it's _not _okay. It's never going to be okay to just decide to duel someone for _no damn reason _in the middle of the bleeding hallway!"

By now, my chest was heaving, my hair was in disarray, and my face was probably as red as a tomato. But I didn't care.

James's eyes narrowed, but his voice came out deadly, scarily quiet. "Yes, Lily, I apologize. And I know it doesn't make everything okay, but I've got to try, don't I? I have to somehow grapple at straws to try to ease away this irrational hatred you have of me, don't I? Maybe you haven't noticed, but I've never tried to be intentionally mean to you. I never wanted you to get in trouble for this, okay? And you didn't have to save me; that was your decision. I would've been fine on my own, as I always have been."

He paused, momentarily closing his eyes. I noticed that his fists were clenched at his sides.

James opened his eyes again, revealing the sharp flash of angry hazel. "And the fight wasn't for 'no damn reason.' Maybe you should check what your beloved Severus says about you before you start yelling at _me_."

With that said, he stomped off, in the direction of the staircases.

I felt strangely…guilty. And empty. And sad. I sank to the floor outside the Great Hall and put my head in my hands, willing the tears that sprang to my eyes to go away.

The whole thing was so strange, so _foreign _to me. Sure, I had yelled at James a million times over the years, but never had he gotten so upset! And never had he told me off in return! Most of all…I had never felt so bad about it before. Usually, it was a part of both of our lives. I would yell at James for doing something stupid, he would sulk, the next day he'd do it again, I would roll my eyes, he would smile and ask me out, I would say no, and then he would do something stupid again, starting the circle over once more.

But this… This was something unforeseen, on so many different levels. And when I actually took in all of the details, I saw everything with such clarity that it made me want to hide under a rock for the rest of my life.

I had yelled at James, and he had gotten upset. We were on bad terms, but were going to have to endure two weeks of detention together and work cooperatively as Heads for the rest of the year. _I _had detention for the first time in my life. Severus had said something bad about me, and James had tried to stick up for me, which was the cause of the whole duel. And the whole school probably knew by now that the Head Boy and Girl were in trouble. It was an endless list of problems.

I mean, what was wrong with the world? It decided to randomly explode and pour it's destroyed contents all over my head. As if I wasn't embarrassment prone already. As if I didn't have enough to worry about. As if I didn't have the rest of the year to screw everything up even more.

And, seriously, James Potter was _mad at me?_

**A/N: So, this chapter's a little different than the previous ones. It's got some more drama, and less of the funny stuff, though I tried to include some of it in the beginning! I, for one, am mad at Lily in it. James is such a little sweetheart! She needs to appreciate it!**

**I've actually made an outline, and some gooooooood stuff is coming up! (: It just depends on how diligent of reviewers you are (AMAZING SO FAR :D) and how my inspiration varies. I actually wrote this yesterday, but was hoping to have it betaed before posting it, but as my beta and I are having technical difficulties, I became impatient and decided to post it. Hopefully we solve those problems soon, so you guys get the finished product!**

**Love you lots,**

**MQ**


	7. I Swear This Time I Mean It

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "I Swear This Time I Mean It" by Mayday Parade.**_

**A/N: You know, I **_**could **_**spend half a page telling you all why I've neglected updating in such a long time, including all of my schoolwork, my vacation, and the fact that I'm working on a novel of my own, but I'd rather just pretend it didn't happen. Please forgive me for the long interval between my last update, and leave a review? (:**

**Oh, and since I haven't been doing this, I'll post a disclaimer. No, I am not brilliant, talented, and rich. I am not J.K. Rowling, and I don't own this. But it's fun to play with!**

I spent the remainder of the time I had left before class in the girls' lavatory, trying to calm down and scrub away the evidence of the few tears that had escaped the confines of my eyes against my will. I guessed that Aurie and Alice had heard about the lunch incident, as they came into the bathroom, calling my name and sounding worried, but I quickly ducked into one of the nearest stalls and ignored them. I felt horrible about it shortly afterward, but knew that I wasn't quite ready to face anyone. What had happened earlier was a bit of an overwhelming shock to my system, in more ways than one, and I had to get myself together before I could manage to appear sane to anyone else.

However, I had to come out of there eventually. When I realized that the sound of the bell ringing wasn't a hallucination that my mind was creating simply to annoy me, I heaved a huge sigh and trudged down to the chilly Hogwarts dungeons.

Thankfully, my best friends managed to dismiss my obvious avoidance of them and didn't appear to be upset with me in the least. I was incredibly grateful for this and for the seat they saved me beside their place at one of the large, black-topped tables in the classroom.

I made my way to the seat in question quickly, managing to drop my book-bag quickly on the floor and slide onto the wooden stool just before Professor Slughorn entered the room. Breathing a sigh of relief, I leaned forward in my seat and propped my head on my hand wearily.

Slughorn, as always, was perfectly cheery. A rather short, plump man with a full strawberry mustache and matching head of hair, he was a fussy and indulgent person who practically squeaked in happiness when I got another one of my potions exactly right. I knew that if anything could cheer me up, it would be his praise.

"Good afternoon, scholars!" he greeted, walking to the very front of the classroom and clasping his hands together eagerly and beaming at the class. I heard Aurie snicker and whisper something to Alice.

Slughorn's eyes twinkled merrily, something I knew to mean that he had a plan up his sleeve.

"Today you will all attempt a more difficult potion than you are used to," he said.

"Wonderful," Aurie muttered sarcastically.

Slughorn smiled. "I assume you've all heard of the Polyjuice Potion?"

Whispers broke out among the class. The Polyjuice Potion was one of the hardest potions to produce; even certain full-skilled witches and wizards couldn't complete it successfully.

"Is he truly serious?" asked Alice quietly.

The Potions teacher chuckled. "I take that to mean that you have. Now, who can tell me what it does?"

Almost as if it were a reflex, my hand shot up into the air.

"Ah yes, Miss Evans," said Slughorn cheerfully. It wasn't well-disguised that I was his favorite student.

"The Polyjuice Potion enables the drinker to wear the body of another, temporarily. To use another's body, one must first secure some part of that person, such as hair," I recited.

"Precisely!" chirped Slughorn. "Ten points to Gryffindor for our Head Girl's spot-on answer!"

He bustled over to the table full of hissing cauldrons in front of his desk, stopping in front of a particularly old and rusty looking one with a silver handle adorning it's lid. The potion inside bubbled furiously. A deep brown color, it resembled fresh mud. Though it didn't look particularly appetizing, it didn't appear absolutely revolting, either. I immediately wondered whose hair he added to it.

"Today you will all have the chance to brew, and if done successfully, try some Polyjuice Potion. It only works for an hour, so I suppose you won't be able to do too much harm. The instructions can be found on page one hundred and thirty-two in your textbooks. Best of luck!"

I took this time to scan the room, searching for a face I was hoping wasn't present. And, sure enough, the seat at Sirius Black's, Peter Pettigrew's, and Remus Lupin's table was empty. And by the way the three of them looked hopefully at the door every few minutes, I figured they didn't know exactly why their friend wasn't there, and were anxious for him to come back.

Avoiding my friends' prying eyes, curious as to why I was staring at the Marauder's table, I quickly opened my copy of _Nearly Impossible NEWT-Level Potions_ and shuffled through its pages so quickly that I almost tore them clean away. As soon as I reached the designated page, I raked my eyes hurriedly over the ingredients and practically leaped out of my seat to get to the storage cupboards, knocking over a confused-looking Drosophila Mildenworth in my path.

"Sorry!" I yelled in an awfully high-pitched voice, sounding like a complete lunatic. The Ravenclaw raised her eyebrows as she grabbed a vial and sauntered back to her table, probably to tell her friends about the abusive encounter she had with the mentally inept Head Girl.

I blushed profusely as I realized my actions were ridiculous. Why did I always run away when the situation became difficult? Why was I so prone to deny my own faults and errors, covering them up like they didn't happen? Yes, I did yell at James Potter. Yes, I did get detention. Yes, I do feel like utter rubbish, but I'm still me, aren't I? I've always been able to solve my problems, and today will be no exception. I will serve my detentions. I will confess to my friends what I've done… all of it. And I will apologize to James, no matter how much it hurts my foolish pride to do so. Because that's what Lily Evans does, she handles things. And last time I checked, I am Lily Evans.

Right, now all I need is confidence. I have to approach things in a cool, rational matter, and it will all fall into place. I hope.

My mental resolutions made up and tied with a bow, I picked up the necessary ingredients for our potion and walked tranquilly over to Aurie and Alice. I set down all the various glass containers gently, not breaking a single one. I felt prouder of myself already.

If I thought my friends wouldn't notice my change in behavior, I was sorely mistaken. But what I appreciated was their lack of comments, even Aurie. Holding their tongues on the sore subject, they were actually encouraging me to reveal everything, one deep breath at a time. And of course, a casual attitude was crucial.

"I've got everything. Who wants to cut up these roots?"

Alice looked up from her textbook. "I'll do it." Then she added quietly, "It's the one thing I won't muck up."

Aurie crossed her arms. "Alice. If you think you're terrible at Potions, you are extremely, hugely, and unforgivably daft, and I can no longer be your friend."

Alice laughed. "But you know I'm incapable of correct measurements. That is one thing that even your generous praise of my abilities cannot deny," she insisted, still amused.

"I don't think Frank, who worships the ground you walk on, could say that your measurements don't suck," said Aurie thoughtfully, her hand propped under her chin.

Aurie and I made faces when Alice began to protest, causing her to stop and smile wistfully at us both, shaking her head all the while.

As the three of us slowly worked through the laborious potion, with me dictating careful instructions every so often, my confidence began to build. Eventually, I decided to just get it over with.

"So, guys," I began, keeping my eyes on the cauldron I was cautiously stirring. "I have a confession to make."

"We're at complete attention," said Alice encouragingly.

I inhaled deeply, then let the breath out, yoga-style. "I have detention every night for the next two weeks."

I squeezed my eyes shut, cauldron abandoned, as I braced myself for their reactions. When I didn't hear anything, I opened them again, slowly.

The two of them were still busily adding ingredients to our potion. Calmly. As if I hadn't revealed the biggest shame of my life to them seconds ago.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

"Well what?" said Aurie.

"What do you want us to say?" added Alice.

This caught me off guard. What did I want them to say? To tell me that I'm horrible and they hate me? Because I got detention? When I thought about it, what was a huge deal to me wasn't that crucial in their minds. Aurie had gotten detention several times for tardiness to Herbology in the past few years, and even Alice had served one in fifth year for failing to wake up on time for O.W.L. testing. Pretty much everyone I knew had their fair share of mess-ups and punishment. I was no different.

"I guess…I just thought you would be disappointed in me," I admitted.

Alice shook her head and Aurie smiled. I felt relieved and a little silly. Who was I to doubt them?

"May I ask what you did?" said Alice.

Uh oh. "I cast a Shield Charm outside the Great Hall."

"You what?" Aurie sounded surprised. "Why?"

"Because Snape was going to hit James with-" I tried.

"_What?_" Now Aurie was stunned.

"James?" Alice asked quietly.

I was confused. "Yes, James. Snape was going to hit him with some purple jinx. I didn't know what it was but it looked horrible so I cast the charm and…" I trailed off when I realized that neither of them was listening, but looking at me strangely instead.

"You called him James," whispered Aurie.

I didn't understand. "What else was I supposed to call him? That's his name, isn't it?"

Alice nodded. "His first name, Lily. You've always preferred his surname."

Now I got it. And when I did, a dark blush spread like wildfire across my cheeks, burning them in embarrassment. I _had _called him by his first name, hadn't I? And I had saved him outside the Great Hall… Oh, God. This probably looked so very different to them than it did to me.

"No," I said. "It's not like that. Not the way you think it is."

Aurie smirked. "How we think it is? How do we think it is, Lily?"

"Oh, stop." Alice jumped to my rescue. "I think we misread the situation, Aurie."

"Completely," I agreed.

All of a sudden, understanding flooded Alice's features, and I knew that she got what I was trying to say. My guilt was as easily readable to her as the plain block-like text printed on the pages in front of us. Her dark brown eyes flicked towards mine, signaling me to go on with the story.

"This is the bad part," I said. "But I'm going to tell you both anyway. After McGonagall gave the three of us detention, mistakenly thinking that I was involved in the duel, I blamed Pott—I mean, James, for the entire thing. I yelled at him. And it really wasn't his fault."

"Oh, Lily," sighed Alice.

"Why'd you do it?" prodded Aurie.

"Isn't it obvious? I was ashamed to think that I had earned myself a detention and took it out on the only person who stayed to see if I was okay. I'm a bloody monster," I groaned.

Aurie leaned over and gave me a hug. "No, you're not," she said firmly. "You just make a lot of mistakes when it comes to a certain boy."

"Thanks. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have the two of you to pull me through life." And I meant it. They sealed off all of my self-doubt like a suit of protective armor, making me feel secure from the offensive front that the world sometimes put on.

"You'd go insane," answered Aurie drily, turning her attention back to our neglected Polyjuice Potion. I playfully slapped her arm, the three of us laughing.

I spent the remainder of the period focused on the class assignment. There really wasn't a need for conversation between the three of us. With a casual comment or question regarding the task at hand, we made it through the long process of it's creation. And with my guidance and gifted hand, the potion turned out completely perfect.

Slughorn walked up to our table when he saw we were finished. After inspecting the contents of our cauldron, he clapped his hands delightedly.

"This is absolutely perfect, ladies!"

"Thank you, Professor," I said politely.

He smiled. "But there is one thing missing!"

"What? That's not possible!" I grabbed my book off of the table and skimmed over the text rapidly, ensuring I had completed every step.

Aurie, however, caught his meaning. "We didn't add any hair," she said.

"Oh, that." I was immensely relieved.

"Yes," Slughorn nodded, "That is exactly what you left out. Do you not wish to try the effects of your—Mr. Black!"

Sirius was ambling past us, his arms completely full with a surplus of ingredients that I figured he had gathered because his potion was a complete mess. My sympathy went out to grade-conscious Remus.

Suddenly, Sirius halted in his tracks. The glass containers in his arms wobbled precariously close to our cauldron. He sniffed twice as everyone held their breath, hoping he wouldn't let go of the ingredients. Then he sneezed.

The bright side was that he managed to hold on to everything he was holding. The downer, however, came that his sneeze was so forceful that he leaned forward, almost bumping into our cauldron.

"Sorry 'bout that," he sniffed. Then he continued on to his table, where Remus began pulling materials out of his hands quickly, looking panicked.

Slughorn shook his head. "That boy," he muttered, amused. "I taught his whole family, you know. Except him. He is the only Black not to be Sorted into the Slytherin house. Pity."

Then, forgetting he had been speaking to us, he walked away from our table.

"That was certainly a close call, wasn't it?" commented Alice.

"I suppose," I agreed.

Aurie didn't say anything, just watched the table in the corner. Though I would have loved to goad her about it, I let her be, thinking it best. Instead, I pulled a glass vial out of my book bag and offered it to Alice.

"Would you like to do the honors?"

I had a habit of keeping every potion I excelled at, which totaled down to pretty much every single one I attempted. I was especially eager to collect this one, which might prove useful in the future.

Alice handed me the filled vial, and I corked it, just as the bell sounded. My friends collected their things and then waited for me, but I waved my hand at them.

"You two go on. There's someone I need to talk to."

Aurie nodded. "Come on, Alice. Classes are _finally _over and I need a nice walk."

The two exited the classroom, leaving me to trail shyly after Sirius as he packed his books and cleaned up his failed potion with a wave of his wand.

He looked surprised to see me waiting for him.

"Something you want, Evans?"

I nodded, rocking back and forth on my heels anxiously. "I just wanted to know if you knew where James was."

If my question provoked any kind of emotion in him, he didn't show it.

"He's at the Quidditch pitch. Pretty mad about something, though I don't know what. But I wouldn't approach him now, if I were you. He didn't even want to talk to me."

I felt horrible again. "Oh. I see."

Sirius slung his book bag over his shoulder. "I'm headed to the common room. Are you coming?"

I gave him a small smile. "No, not just yet. But tell my friends, if you see them, that I'll be there soon, okay?"

"Will do," Sirius replied. "Later, Evans!" And with a ruffle to my hair, he left.

I walked out of the classroom slowly, thoughts churning. In the end, I decided I had only one option: to confront James on the Quidditch pitch. Maybe, if was lucky, he would decide not to beat me to death with a Beater's bat.

But I definitely needed a self-esteem boost, else I'd never get over my fear of doing wrong. I pulled out the vial of Polyjuice Potion I had made in class, admiring it's perfection and my own natural talent with pride. Then, on an impulse, I pulled off the stopper and took a cautious sip.

I had no idea what possessed me to do it other than simple curiosity about what I had made. And since I hadn't added any hair, there was no harm of turning into anyone but myself.

The taste was actually kind of pleasant. I couldn't describe it, except for that it was terribly strong, but it wasn't as bad as I had read it to be. I guess that was the difference between a plain potion and a real transforming one.

I felt a little calmer by my self-assertion, so I traversed the school easily. Every other person I passed said hello to me, pushing my confidence up even further. Being Head Girl definitely had its perks. I had never been popular before.

When I reached the pitch, I took a moment to smooth the top of my hair, surprised at how silky it was. I made sure my robe was covering my uniform, and not riding up embarrassingly as it sometimes did. It was shorter at the bottom than it usually was, and I sighed. My mother hadn't listened when I asked her not to put my school clothes in the dryer over the summer.

The second I felt ready, I entered the stadium, shading my eyes from the glaring sun as I looked around. I didn't see anyone. Had Sirius lied to me?

Almost the next second, I heard someone approaching behind me. When I turned around, I saw James standing there, his Quidditch robes covered in dirt and grass. He was holding a broomstick in one hand and the Quaffle in another.

He took one look at me and sighed. I was about to apologize when he spoke.

"I thought I told you I wanted to be alone, Sirius."

**CLIFFHANGER! Don't kill me. Please. I quite enjoy my life.**


	8. Something Strange Going On In My Head

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "The Space Between" by Valencia.**_

**A/N: Augh! I am so messy! I sincerely apologize to all of you who caught my Polyjuice mishap. I'm afraid my brain and the fingers that type out this story decided to get in a fight and not cooperate, leaving me to have to explain—now that they've made up—that I meant the supplies they were getting to come from Slughorn's potion in the front of the class was like a starter.**

**I dedicate this new chapter to **_**.lover.**_** Thank you for reviewing every one of my chapters! You really made my day!**

"What?" My voice was still my own.

James wearily rubbed his temples, dropping both the Quaffle and his broomstick.

"Don't be offended, mate. I just need to think, all by myself, and blow off some steam."

He paced around the pitch, oblivious to the shocked expression on my (Sirius's?) face. My brain spun like a possessed washing machine, going over the events of the last class in a hyper speed rewind. When had anything of Sirius's touched my potion? It was corked when I spoke to him…

Oh. The sneeze. He had sneezed in our cauldron. Even if he had missed the potion inside it, there was a huge chance that a loose hair had fallen in.

Oh, no. Just no. This was absolutely the most horrible thing that had ever happened to me. What the heck was I supposed to do?

James finally noticed my determination to remain frozen in place. He mistook it for a gesture of grand friendship, rather than the fact that Lily Evans had taken the body of his best friend and was now utterly confused and panicked as to how to figure out her current situation.

He clapped me affectionately on the shoulder.

"I should've known you wouldn't leave me, Padfoot. You can never take no for an answer, can you?" He laughed.

I nodded, trying to smile back at him.

James walked back to his abandoned Quaffle and picked it up, tossing it up and down lightly as he talked.

"I know what you're going to tell me. 'She's just one girl.' You've told me a million times before, and I've tried to listen, I really have. It's just so hard to give her up."

James bit his lip, and his face took on a faraway look. "Do you remember that time, last term, where she undertook that House-Elf Rights project? Everyone laughed at her and tried to persuade her to give it a rest, but she never quit. She worked on a speech to give to the Ministry for months."

He chuckled, so softly I almost missed the sound.

"She actually took it all the way to the Ministry, this summer. Though they shot her down, and nearly laughed in her face, she kept on going. She delivered her speech all the way to the end. I was there that day, too, you remember. I went to work with Dad just so I could hear her talk. When I came home and wouldn't shut up about her, you threatened to toss my broomstick out the window. But you know, mate, that was the day I admired her most. And I guess I'm being like her in not giving her up, in not letting the million rejections she gives me bring me down."

He cleared his throat awkwardly and blushed. "Turning into a regular sap, aren't I?"

I shook my head slowly, smiling, and kicked a small patch of grass at my feet. "You've always been a sap." I did my best to imitate Sirius's voice.

James laughed again, and I found that I liked the sound. It wasn't irritating, or arrogant, as I'd thought before, but natural, light, and genuine. James had true affection for his best friend, and there was nothing less than admirable in that.

As for me pretending to be his friend…well, only Merlin knew if I was doing the right thing.

James grinned at me for a brief second, then threw the Quaffle in my direction, in such a swift move that I barely had time to think before it hit me in the chest. I withheld any sound of pain, knowing that something that trivial would never affect the real Sirius Black.

"Shoddy reflexes," teased James, running up to me and retrieving the ball. "You're going to have to try harder than that if you want to keep your place on the team this year, Keeper."

"I'll practice," I promised.

"You bet you will," he agreed. "I'm planning on working the team harder than ever this year. Can't let Lily think I'm going to bring down Gryffindor's good name, now can I?"

It was harder for me to smile back at him after he said my name. It really had an effect on me. Maybe it wasn't the kind that Aurie and Alice were hoping for, but at least it wasn't heartless and cruel. It kind of made me wince to think that James really did care that much about me. That he knew so much about me. I had always thought that his crush on me was meaningless and empty, but now I had reason to suspect differently.

"You want to practice with me a little bit? I've got to meet up with Lily at six, and then I've got detention. I could use some fun before then." James looked at me hopefully. The guilt for how I'd hurt his feelings almost made me say yes, but then I recollected myself. I was horrible at Quidditch. If I attempted to play, James would think there was something wrong with the Sirius that he'd just spilled his heart to. And I couldn't let him find out that he'd told all his feelings to me.

So, I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head. "I've, uh, got homework. Sorry, mate. Maybe another time?"

James stared. For several minutes. All while my interior was filled with panic. Then he laughed.

Once he started, there was no stopping him. Apparently, the thought of Sirius doing homework was such a good joke that he ignored his friend's unwillingness to oblige him in a game.

He bent double, completely lost in laughter, while I stared and twiddled my thumbs.

When James was done, he caught his breath and wiped tears of mirth from behind his glasses.

"Go on then, Padfoot," he managed between gasps, "I'll be not long after you."

With that, I waved goodbye and turned around, a little unsure of what I was supposed to do. I couldn't go back to the common room looking like Sirius, and I couldn't enter the girls' lavatory as him, either. But I still had an hour in his body.

I decided to remain outside. The day was rather nice, after all, and I hadn't yet gotten the opportunity to become reacquainted with my favorite old oak tree, by the lake. It was to that spot I headed, enjoying my quiet solitude. There was certainly much to think about.

I leaned back against the familiar bark and closed my eyes. The birds chirped pleasantly around me, helping me to relax with their sweet songs.

I couldn't believe that James felt so strongly about me. It wasn't about simple pursuit, as I'd thought for all these years, but rather something deeper. Something I wasn't yet ready to think about, because it was something I'd never experienced.

It was enough to will me to never admit to anyone what he had said to me. The truth couldn't get out. I didn't want James to know that I had been impersonating his best friend when he confessed important feelings to him. It wouldn't be right, and I would do my best to prevent it from happening.

I'd had no idea he was a witness of my ambitious speech in front of the Ministry that summer. My two best friends were unable to attend, and no one else knew about the event. Or so I'd thought. The fact that he had been there, to listen to me embarrass myself in front of a bunch of important people, was mind-altering. It really put the little world that surrounded me in a different, more mature, perspective.

And this other piece of knowledge; that he'd admired the more for my perseverance? I myself had thought the day was ill-spent, a failure. But James considered it a success, and was proud of me for not giving up. I really didn't know what to think about it. It went against every part of my dislike of him.

No, I wasn't so shallow as to like him more for—er, _admiring _me. It was nothing of the sort. What I really felt was more credit for him and for his actions. He had revealed a usually masked part of himself to me today, and I couldn't go on pretending that he was an idiot. Or that I hated him. Because if I was being honest with myself, I knew deep down that I didn't hate him. Not anymore. I was willing to be friends with him. I wanted to put the past behind us and show him that I was mature, too, and that I didn't want to hurt his feelings any longer.

And all of this would have to come out tonight. Not only did I have to apologize, but I had to make it convincing and genuine. This wasn't going to be an effortless endeavor. This was going to be something I would try hard at, because it was important to me.

I inhaled and exhaled slowly for a couple of minutes, enjoying the last moments of sunshine with a mind greatly cleared. When I finally opened my eyes, it was to a fading sunset.

Slowly, nervously, I gripped a chunk of my hair, and let out a sigh of relief when I found it was long and red. I was, thankfully, myself again.

I was able to spend the hour and a half that I had before my appointment with James working on some homework that had been assigned that day, not wishing to fall behind. I had yet to encounter Alice and Aurie, whom, I had learned from Samantha Hallowes, had gone with Frank to the library and hadn't returned.

This was a small relief to me. I loved my friends with all my heart, but I was nervous enough about my time with James without having to make up answers for where I had gone to after Potions. Sometimes, I just needed time on my own. And thankfully, my dormitory was empty.

But the time of being alone was cut short, as the time soon drew to the appointed hour. I closed my books and anxiously ran a hand through my long hair before exiting the room and making my way down the stairs to the common room.

I spotted him sitting on the red plush couch near the fire, a book open in his lap. He didn't appear to be reading very diligently, however, as he looked around the room every few seconds, and never seemed to turn a page.

I let out my inhibitions and marched down the remaining steps to the common room, and walked over to him without faltering.

He looked up from the book and motioned to the space next to him.

"Hello," was all he said.

"Hi," I said breathily, and cautiously sat beside him. He closed the book and looked at me expectantly.

I dropped my gaze to my hands in my lap. "Listen, James, I'm really sorry," I began.

He looked surprised, but didn't interrupt me.

"I don't know why I acted like I did, but I know that it was stupid, and I truly hope that you'll forgive me for it. My getting detention was nowhere near your fault. I am responsible for my actions, and I don't regret them."

I finally met his hazel eyes. "And if I ever act like such a pretentious brat again, I leave it up to you to reprimand me for such actions."

James laughed, shaking his head.

"Are you sure you want to give me such power?" he asked, eyes twinkling. "You know me well enough to guess that I might abuse it."

I smiled weakly. "I just want you to forgive me."

James gazed at me thoughtfully, reminding me of the things he had admitted to me earlier. I blushed at my knowledge.

But when I looked at him again, he was grinning, like the James I'd known and despised for so long.

"Of course I'll forgive you, Evans. You know I'm incapable of being mad at you," he said playfully. I rolled my eyes but smiled nonetheless.

"Now that all _that_ business is over…" I leaned back against the couch, my hands behind my head.

James closed his book and laid it aside. I was temporarily distracted by the sight of the cover, and leaned forward to get a better look at it.

"_The Picture of Dorian Gray _by Oscar Wilde?" I asked, surprised.

James nodded. "It's pretty good. Have you read it?"

"Yeah. That's why I'm surprised," I admitted, laughing. "I didn't think you read _anything _for pleasure, let alone classics."

"Do you take a particular joy in insulting me?" But he was laughing as well.

When he was serious again, he said, "Who knows, Evans? I might surprise you with my hobbies."

"I seriously doubt that. What do you do besides play Quidditch and pull pranks on everyone in the school?"

James pretended to be deep in thought, his hand at his chin.

"I study. And flirt with you. That last one takes up quite a bit of my time. But don't worry, my efforts will be worth it when you realize that you're deeply in love with me." He batted his eyelashes at me, leaning in close.

I laughed again, moving away from him. "Like that's ever going to happen. You'll soon realize that you're more in love with yourself than anyone else could ever be."

James winked at me. "Nah, we both know that's Sirius's job."

I heartily agreed, and then remembered my purpose in meeting him. Was it possible that I was actually having a good time?

"So, um, about being Heads…" I started, positioning myself more comfortably on the couch and placing a pillow in my lap. I began to play with the fringe on its worn corners.

"Right. That. I actually had a few ideas, you know, for improvements we could make this year," admitted James, a little shyly, tousling his messy black hair.

"Really?" I looked up from the pillow, interested. "Like what?"

My question seemed to make him more uncomfortable. He scratched the back of his neck and looked sheepish.

"This might sound really lame…"

Now I was really interested. I sat up straighter in anticipation.

"Iwanttohaveahalloweenball," he blurted suddenly.

"Sorry?"

He sighed. "I want to have a Halloween ball."

I pondered this for a few minutes, watching his earnest but abashed expression with amusement. Actually, having a ball at Hogwarts wasn't a half-bad idea. It could prove to be fun.

"You're torturing me, Lily. Please just tell me what you think."

He looked like a puppy pleading for a treat. I almost laughed.

"I think…."

"Yes?"

"That the ball…"

"Go on."

"Is a…"

"Oh, come on, Evans!"

I laughed at his exasperation. "I think it's a great idea," I said honestly. "We never have dances at Hogwarts. I'm sure the students would be all in favor."

James beamed, excited once more. "That's what I reckoned! And Halloween would be a great time for it, since we have a feast and all to celebrate it _anyway_, and it's not during Holiday, so everyone would be present, and there aren't exams, so I figured the teachers wouldn't disapprove much…" He trailed off, becoming glum.

"What's the matter?"

James pulled off his glasses and cleaned them on his shirt. "I have to convince McGonagall. And you know that'll be difficult."

"Oh," I said. "Hmm…"

Then it hit me. The perfect way to go about gaining permission.

"I've got it!"

He looked up at my sudden brightening.

"All we have to do is time our asking of her just right. Preferably after Gryffindor demolishes another House in a Quidditch match?" I suggested, knowing this would appeal to him.

I was right. Once James thought the plan was in his hands, he was reanimated and hopeful. We spent the next two hours discussing plans for the dance, patrol hours, and scheduling the first Prefect meeting. It was well past dinner before either one of us realized we were hungry.

"Whoa," said James, "Look at the time. We've got detention in five minutes!"

He turned to look at me in what could only be described as wonder, thought I couldn't fathom why.

"Right," I chimed, yawning. I got up from my place on the couch and stretched, wishing I had changed out of my uniform. James had traded his for jeans and a blue t-shirt, while I was still clad in rumpled black robes.

He stood up too, watching me. "We should go. Filch is rather nasty if you're late."

"That's definitely the last thing I need," I muttered, then followed him out of the common room. It came to me as I felt eyes on my back that I had just spent two hours, alone, with James Potter. And we didn't fight; we talked and laughed, like friends. It was probably the strangest thing the Gryffindors had ever seen. There was sure to be gossip when we left, but I was far from caring. I had actually enjoyed myself, and felt good about my resolution to keep James as my friend.

We ran into Alice, Aurie, and Frank outside the portrait hole. They certainly looked surprised to see us together, but didn't comment on it.

"I've got detention, so I'll see you two when I come back," I told my friends. "Hey, Frank, how are you?"

Frank Longbottom smiled pleasantly at me. He was always so polite and cordial that he reminded me of Alice. They both possessed the same manners and proper vocabulary.

"I'm quite well, thanks. Though very sorry to hear about your detention, Lily." He nodded to James, and the three passed through the portrait hole.

"This has to be the most pointless job ever invented," mumbled James. "I wish I had my wand."

"Oh, stop complaining. It's not that bad. At least we don't have to clean the bathrooms or something."

James stared at me, incredulous. "Did Lily Evans just admit that detention wasn't that bad?"

I smiled to myself; he couldn't see me from the opposite row. Filch had assigned us to reordering the Muggle books in the library by alphabetical order, as the Slytherins had pulled them all off of their shelves for a prank earlier that day. Madam Pince was long gone, leaving us stacking the shelves alone.

"I suppose I did. But I honestly don't see what you have to grumble about. Haven't you been in detention a million times?"

I heard James shove a book onto the shelf with unnecessary force.

"Yes, but I've never had to indulge in the creepy habits of a miserable bibliophile for punishment. I'm pretty sure this exceeds the legal limit as cruel and unusual."

I found myself laughing for the thousandth time that night.

"Hey," I said, as I stumbled upon a familiar cover. "This is my favorite book."

James abandoned his pile of tomes and walked over to me, kneeling to see the worn copy I held in my hands.

"_Pride and Prejudice_ by Jane Austen," he read, sounding bemused.

"Don't tell me you've never heard of it."

"Okay. I won't."

I shook my head. "I can't believe you've read Oscar Wilde, but you've never heard of Jane Austen! She was only the best female writer of her time!"

James held up his hands in surrender. "Alright, you win. Remus recommended that book to me. I personally know nothing about Muggle literature."

I hit him lightly on the arm.

"I should've guessed it. You would never go around looking for books."

He chuckled. "So what's this book about? It must be great if you like it so much."

I handed to him, and watched as he read the synopsis on the inside cover flap. He made a face and offered it back to me.

"What do you think?"

"It's a romance novel. What do you _think _I think of that?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's a famous piece of literature, not to mention British ancestry. It's almost a crime not to read it."

"Bring on the firing squad," James muttered, as he tried to place it back on the shelf.

I pulled it out again, hit by a sudden idea. "I dare you to read it."

"What?"

"You heard me," I said, offering the book to him. "I dare you to read this book."

James surveyed me warily, but his eyes twinkled with the challenge. "What will I get for it?"

I considered this for a moment. What could I have that he wanted? Then I felt embarrassed as the answer became painfully obvious. But no, I couldn't do that. I couldn't pretend to return his affections.

I finally settled on something that would work out for me.

"Tell you what. If you read that book, in it's entirety, I will be friends with you."

This surprised him more than I thought it would. His air of joking left him, and he was suddenly the same James that I had seen at the Quidditch pitch. I was instantly afraid of what he would say next.

"Really? Are you serious?" he asked.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

His face broke out into his signature grin. "You're so on, Lily Evans."

I suddenly felt very afraid.

**So, there you have it! Hope you all enjoyed the unusual lengthiness, and the abundance of James. Lily's first day of school is finally over! And boy, was it eventful…**

**Tell me what you think by leaving me a review! Please? (:**


	9. I’m Ashamed of Feeling Down Now

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "We'll All Be…" by The Maine.**_

**A/N: Reviews make me happy. Like unbelievably happy. It's so much better to go to school knowing that every ten seconds you can check your email on your phone for reviews…and there'll always be something there! (: Seriously, that's how I got through AP Bio yesterday morning. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!**

Day two of seventh year started off much better than the first. For one, I woke up early (thanks, Alice!), and had enough time to get ready for the day without rushing, as well as go to breakfast.

Alice, Aurie, and I went down together, meeting Frank Longbottom in the common room on our way out. He cheerfully joined the group, and we carried on in pleasant conversation all the way to the Great Hall.

I yawned again as I helped myself to some French toast ("A little unpatriotic, don't you think?" joked Aurie), causing Frank to look at me sympathetically.

"Did you have a long night of homework, Lily? You look tired."

I was in the middle of chewing my breakfast, so I held up a finger and swallowed before answering. To my surprise, Alice and Aurie were watching me curiously, as if they too were in anticipation of my answer.

"I had detention," I replied in an off-hand manner, pouring myself a glass of pumpkin juice and taking a sip. "Mmm, good juice this morning."

At least Frank had the decency to look only politely puzzled—though I doubt he can do anything impolitely—while Prewett and Commissi didn't bother to hide their skepticism. And really, it seems like this happens every five minutes. I'm starting to wonder if they're only friends with me to listen to me say seemingly-ridiculous/impossible-for-Lily things so they can practice their "astounded" faces.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, grow up. I'm so over making detention a huge deal. Trust me."

Aurie shrugged and went back to her hash browns (potatoes again?), but Alice smiled encouragingly at me.

"I think your overcoming of mental obstacles is wonderful. I can't say I'm proud of you getting detention in the first place, but I'm definitely happy that you find yourself mature enough to just accept it," she said, tucking a stray brown curl behind her ear and picking up her spoon.

Frank was quick to echo her sentiments. "I completely agree," he chimed. "I'm sure coming to terms with your problems makes them easier to overcome."

I nodded in agreement as I ate more of my French toast.

"But wait," said Aurie slowly. "Something seems off about this whole punishment ordeal. You didn't come back to the dormitory until half-past eleven. Didn't detention start at eight?"

I blushed, much against my will. Here goes nothing…

"Well, it took James and me a little longer to organize all the books," I answered casually, spreading a flood of maple syrup on my toast with the back of my fork. "So I ended up getting back later than I intended."

"Ohhhh," Aurie intoned. "So James was there too, huh?"

"Yes," I replied, crossing my fingers under the table in the hope that this was the end of the matter.

Frank looked confused. "What's wrong with James being present?" he asked Alice, who was sitting on his left.

"Nothing," she said, a little too quickly. "Aurie and I were just wondering why—"

"—Lily spent two hours with him and then walked out of the room with him. That's all, really." Aurie's comment wasn't as pointed as her stare was. I gulped. I was definitely in for it.

"It was Heads' business." Even I thought I didn't sound very convincing. But what could I tell them? It wasn't like me to spill the emotions of the previous day in the middle of the Great Hall, where Merlin-knew-how-many people were listening.

"Right," muttered Aurie.

Frank seemed about ready for a change of subject.

"What classes does everyone have today?"

I was almost a hundred percent sure he already knew Alice's, so I recited mine first.

"Ancient Runes, Herbology, and Double Charms. What about you?"

"I've got the same first two classes as you, but my last class is Care of Magical Creatures."

I tried to hide my smile behind my glass of pumpkin juice. Conveniently, Frank and Alice had all the same classes today. Alice was the only person I knew who had chose to continue Care of Magical Creatures beyond the required years because she found it interesting. Now I knew what Frank's motivation behind joining the class was.

Suddenly, I felt my hair rumpled. I looked to my left and noticed James sliding in beside me, his familiar happy grin fixed in place.

"Good morning, Lily," he chirped, as he surveyed the breakfast options on the table.

I watched as Remus took a seat beside Frank, while Sirius daringly opted to occupy the space on Aurie's right.

"Morning. Where's Peter?" I looked around for their mousy friend.

"Still asleep," Remus replied. He was the only one of the three who wasn't busy heaping his plate with food.

Alice looked concerned. "Shouldn't someone wake him up?"

Frank half-rose from his seat, but James shook his head.

"Lucky git's got a free period."

Frank sat back down, looking sheepish.

James turned to me. I noticed his eyes had dark rings around them.

"Didn't you get any sleep last night?"

He shook his head, smiling proudly.

"Why not?" I was puzzled. Since when was not sleeping something to be proud of?

James reached into the book bag at his feet and pulled out a worn paperback. He set it on the table space between us.

It took all my self-control to keep my mouth from dropping open in shock. For there, right beside me, sat _Pride and Prejudice_.

"But I—you really—_finished it?_"

"Sure did," he replied, smiling from ear-to-ear. "It took me all night, but I did it!"

I just shook my head. "Why? I mean, I didn't set a time limit for you or anything. You really didn't have to stay up all night reading."

His answer was shatteringly, painfully honest.

"I wanted to take you up on your deal. As soon as possible."

I was hopelessly tongue-tied. What was I supposed to say to that? James was watching me earnestly, nothing manipulative about his tone or expression. I couldn't bear to disappoint him, and yet, I couldn't really reciprocate his enthusiasm.

I cleared my throat and looked down at the toast I had drowned in syrup.

"How do I know you even read the whole thing?" I asked quietly. Though I was joking, the question came out solemnly.

James looked confused for a moment. "What?"

I did my best to put on a smile. "I said, how do I know you're not just lying to me about finishing it?"

He crossed his arms and eyed me seriously.

"You can ask me anything you want about it."

I considered this.

"Okay. Name the two main characters of the book."

He didn't hesitate. "Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy."

"What happens to them in the end?"

"They get married. Come on, challenge me a bit, Evans."

"What's the name of the house they live in and where is it located?"

He spoke in a bored voice. "Pemberley. It's in Derbyshire."

"Hmmm… Name Elizabeth's best friend and what happens to her."

"Charlotte Lucas. She marries Mr. Collins."

"What was the significance of Lady Catherine's visit to Elizabeth's house?"

"It gave Mr. Darcy the hope that Elizabeth might love him."

The way he said "hope" and "love" unsettled me. It was as if he tread on them on tiptoes, while walking normally through the rest of the sentence.

I sighed. "I believe you. No more questions."

James uncrossed his arms. "Told you that I could surprise you," was all he said before digging into his large helping of breakfast.

I thought about his determination and impatience to be my friend for the rest of breakfast, while staring at my barely-touched food. It escaped my notice that Aurie and Sirius fought less than usual, or that the rest of the group kept shooting significant looks toward me and the person sitting on my left.

After breakfast, Alice, Frank, and I departed for Ancient Runes. The two of them conversed as animatedly as usual, but I chose not to participate. Instead, I tried to walk several steps behind them, leaving them to their own purposes.

Frank seemed to see that I was doing this for his benefit, because he didn't say anything about it. Alice, on the other hand, kept looking over her shoulder at me. I tried sending her telepathic messages to stop, but realized that I clearly didn't possess that particular talent.

The Ancient Runes classroom's desks were arranged into rows. Alice and Frank took seats in the first two rows, right beside one another, and I seated myself behind Alice. Pulling out my peacock feather quill and a bottle of turquoise ink, I set them on my desk and lay my head down, feeling more tired than I had at breakfast.

I watched the other students trickle in without much interest. Amongst those I knew was the infamous Heather Cobbins, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment. It was probably the only thing we'd ever agree on. Not that I'd admit it to her, of course.

Heather chose a seat three rows away from me, which was fine with both of us. I highly doubted she even noticed I was in the class, as her attention was entirely focused on the end of a strand of perfectly curled blonde hair.

As I nearly drifted off to sleep, the one person who had the potential to improve the class walked through the doors.

Immediately, I sat up. I quickly ran a hand through my unruly red hair and tried to blink the sleep away from my eyes. Then I resumed looking bored, though this time, it was an act.

Derek Croer's green eyes roamed the room briefly before setting on something that motivated him to pick a seat. He silently crossed the front before stopping in front of the row next to mine.

I was almost afraid to breathe.

He took the few short steps to the seat right next to mine, and, to my disbelief, sat down. He rummaged in his bag for a quill and ink, and set them on his desk. Then he slouched down in his seat and watched the people still wandering in.

I, meanwhile, was on Cloud Nine. Derek Croer was sitting next to me. He _chose _to sit next to me. And now I could stare at him in two classes.

"Lily, do you remember what—" Alice stopped short as she spotted Derek next to me. Her eyes widened, just enough for me to notice. I knew I would be getting a note from her as soon as class started.

Just then, Heather Cobbins did the most horrible thing possible under the circumstances. She moved seats. And the new place she chose? On Derek's other side.

Bloody hell. Cobbins was coming close to ruining a perfectly good ten minutes.

To my dismay, Derek noticed her. And she noticed him noticing her. All while I fumed in silence and Alice stared at the three of us. Frank watched Alice, totally unaware of the drama unfolding just behind him.

"Good morning," said Heather in a falsely cheery voice.

"It is," Derek agreed, in his wonderfully deep and melody-ridden voice.

"I don't think I've ever met _you _before," Heather gushed. She was so over-the-top that it was almost embarrassing to watch.

Fortunately, Derek seemed to be oblivious to her flirting.

"I'm Derek Croer," he replied, in as normal and un-encouraging tone as any.

"Derek. I'm Heather Cobbins." She said it boastfully, as if the mere mention of her title would cause him to freeze up in shock at who he was talking to. To my satisfaction, he only nodded.

Just then, Heather turned her attention to me. It was evident that she had only just noticed my presence, as her eyes glinted maliciously (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating) and she turned her nose up in a superior fashion.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Hoity-Toity Head Girl. I don't believe I saw you come in last night. What were you doing for three hours, barfing?" She laughed at her own insult.

All I could think was: that was the dumbest rude comment I've ever heard. Yeesh.

Derek twisted in his seat, recognizing me.

"Oh, hey! It's Lily, right?" He smiled.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God! I couldn't decide which was better: Derek's remembering my name and smiling at me, or the look Heather employed on her face. It could only be described as an I-got-coal-in-my-stocking-for-Christmas-this-year-and-now-I'm-going-to-murder-everyone-else-on-the-planet expression.

I smiled right back at Derek.

"It sure is!" Then I pretended to look confused. "And your name was…?"

"Oh, it's Derek. Croer." Then he laughed. "I don't know why everyone seems to forget my name! I could've sworn McGonagall did it yesterday, too."

Ha. Silly adorable boy. As if I could ever forget your name. I've only written it on my notebook a million times. In Everlasting Ink, no less.

"But, then again," he said, "I highly doubt _you _would ever know what that's like. Don't all the teachers love you?"

Heather butted in before I could reply.

"Yeah, Lily's definitely _unforgettable_." The last word was taunting.

"I agree," said Derek, smiling warmly at me. He didn't even look at Heather.

It was a good thing that Professor Amdestra decided to start his beginning-of-the-year lecture at that moment, because I'm pretty sure nothing more graceful than breathless giggles could have come out of my mouth at that very moment.

A piece of parchment nudged my elbow. I looked down to find Alice's familiar cursive.

_Did Derek just say you were unforgettable?_

I grinned and dipped my quill into my ink.

_Okay, so you heard it too. For a second I thought I might have been falling into one of those daydreams I have… Did you see Heather's face?_

I slid the note casually in front of me. Alice grabbed it quickly. She wasted no time in replying.

_Yes! You're going to have trouble with her when classes are over, Lil. _

I almost scoffed out loud, before remembering I was in class.

_Who cares? If Derek likes me, it's completely worth it. Wouldn't things just be perfect then?_

I watched Alice hesitate before scribbling her response.

_Er... Sure, Lily._

I scrunched my eyebrows at her words.

_What?_

She sighed when she got the note back. Then shaking her head, she passed it to me.

_Never mind. It's nothing._

I was thoroughly confused. That kind of response was one of my biggest pet peeves, and Alice knew it. What could she be talking about?

Despite my enthusiasm over the seating arrangements in Ancient Runes, the class turned out to be rather dull. Instead of starting us off on a lesson, Professor Amdestra spent the entire block going over the N.E.W.T. level syllabus. I didn't even have the opportunity of speaking to Derek for the remainder of the class, not that I would know what to say if I could. He basically told me that I was unforgettable. How could I respond to that?

However, he smiled at me before we left class. That _had _to mean something. Oh, and Heather glared at me quite a lot, which wasn't altogether that bad. I didn't really blame her. Derek's light-brown hair and clear green eyes _were _pretty hard to ignore.

Alice didn't seem to reciprocate my Croer-fueled enthusiasm. Sure, she smiled when I talked about him on the way to Herbology, but it was more of an appeasing sort, not of an encouraging sort. This, coupled with her earlier words, made me uneasy. It wasn't typical of Alice Prewett to be merely obliging.

Upon entering the greenhouses, I felt my spirits rise to their full height again, as all of the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws shared this class. I skipped cheerfully to the table where Aurie sat, Alice and Frank (who met us again outside the door) trailing along behind me.

Aurie looked up from the textbook open in front of her as I pulled out the chair beside hers.

"Hi," I said, smiling.

"Hi yourself," she responded. "What's going on? You look pretty happy."

I lowered my voice as I relayed the events of the past class to her. She remained silent until I was finished, at which point she grinned.

"No way, Lily! Derek Croer? Congrats." She nudged me.

"Shush." I looked around behind me to make sure we weren't being overheard. "He's in this class."

Aurie raised her eyebrows before peering around herself. Sure enough, she spotted him with two other Ravenclaw boys at a table across the room. He seemed to be explaining something to them, while they nodded animatedly.

"Aww," Aurie gushed, "Croer has friends! Who knew?"

I rolled my eyes as she laughed.

"Better get a kick out of it now," I mumbled, "Because when he becomes the next wizarding world musical prodigy, you'll be the one running after him for his autograph."

She stuck out her tongue at me. Then she seemed to notice something.

"Where are Alice and Frank?" she asked, frowning.

I didn't bother to look up from the chapter I was perusing.

"They were right behind me."

"Well they sure aren't here now. See for yourself."

I twisted in my chair, scanning the room. Aurie was right. Frank and Alice were nowhere to be seen. And, now that I was looking around, I didn't notice any of the Marauders present, either.

"Huh. Where the heck is everyone?"

Aurie shrugged. "James was in my last class. I'm pretty sure he followed me out, too."

It was rather strange that all six of them were absent. Though I couldn't offer any excuse for Sirius, Remus was strict about attending classes, and James was Head Boy. He knew he couldn't just skive things off anymore. As for Peter, well, he followed the other three.

It also wasn't like Alice to ditch. Or Frank, for that matter, as both of them were adamant in their perusal of Auror dreams, and thought school was of the utmost importance. Was it possible that they had just decided to leave classes?

These questions played over and over again in my head all throughout the period, even as we clipped Venomous Tentacula leaves. Aurie had to slap me several times for me to pay attention, as the plant was just about ready to leave a mark on me.

The two of us raced out of the greenhouse as soon as Professor Sprout dismissed the class for lunch. We didn't talk much as we cantered all the way to the Great Hall. Aurie and I were just like that: we didn't need constant conversation to be best friends. We would rather not talk than talk about something we didn't really care about, or weren't really focused on. And right now, we were both distracted to the point where half-coherent conversation would be close to impossible.

To my disappointment, the Gryffindor table yielded no sign of our friends.

Aurie exhaled in an irritated fashion, which I knew to mean she was worried.

"I'm not mad at her for ditching," she grouched, "I just wish she would have told me. I would've skipped Sprout's class, too."

"Ditching is bad, Auriola."

She gave me a strange look. "You sound like my mother. And I'm not saying that in the stereotypical, cliché fashion. I mean, you actually sounded like my mother. Voice, tone, everything. I'm a little creeped out right now."

"Oh, whatever," I said, laughing.

Suddenly, one of the passersby caught my eye. Shaggy black hair, tall stature—was that Sirius? Oh, wait. Now I see the crowd of admiring girls. Yep, that's Sirius.

"Hey, Black!" I called out. He didn't seem to hear me, as he continued into the Hall.

"SIRIUS!" Aurie yelled.

Half of the people in the Hall turned to see where such a loud sound came from, but thankfully the dark-haired wizard was one of them. He sauntered over to us, looking slightly downcast.

"I believe you called?" He tried to sound as jovial as always, but it was obvious that something was bothering him.

Aurie's eyes were fixated on a stubborn button on her bag that wouldn't lie flat, one that I was sure was perfectly in place a minute ago. Sirius watched as she fiddled with it.

I guess I had to do the talking. Thanks, Aur.

"Where were you last block?"

Sirius laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. He seemed really anxious about something.

"Lily, I skive off classes just about every day. What makes you want to know what I do with my time now?"

I crossed my arms. "The fact that not only your troop of brigands were missing from Herbology, but also my friends Alice and Frank. Do you know anything about that?"

Sirius looked at the floor and scratched the side of his neck.

"I don't keep tabs on Prewett and Longbottom, Lily. If you ask me, they've got some kind of love affair going on. I'd check all the broom closets in the vicinity."

I felt my temper rising. I was thoroughly convinced that Sirius knew exactly what was going on, and his refusal to tell me was frustrating and unnecessary. Maybe I didn't have a right to know anything about the whereabouts of his companions, but Alice and Frank were _my _friends, and I deserved to know what happened to them.

I clenched my wand firmly in my right hand, and brought it up to his face. I didn't care that we were just outside the Great Hall, and that my actions could look bad to other people. I wanted answers. And I wanted them _now_.

"Listen, Black. I _know_ that the absence of my friends has something to do with your lot. You have exactly ten seconds to tell me what the hell happened before you break out in a set of incredibly irritating hives."

Sirius looked taken aback, but he held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.

"Okay, okay," he said. "I'll tell you what happened. But please don't curse the messenger, alright?"

I nodded.

"I'm not making any promises," muttered Aurie, her eyes off her bag at last.

Sirius took a deep breath. "Can you at least put your wand down? You're really intimidating when you're angry, Evans."

I huffed in impatience but did as he asked.

"Now talk!"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair nervously. Instinctively, I knew what was going to come next would be bad.

But the words that followed were nothing like what I expected.

"Frank is in the hospital wing."

**Okay… So this chapter was really difficult to write and to name. I'm still not sure if I like it! It was quite a bit lengthy, compared to my usual standard, and I wrote it yesterday and today. **

**I think I inherited PottedLilies's writer's block after she got over it, haha. Kayla, this is what happens when I give advice on how to overcome it! My methods stop working.**

**OH, and the "unpatriotic" comment made by Aurie at the beginning is actually from something else. Cookies to anyone who figures it out(;**

**So, leave a review, yeah? Praise might help me through this crisis! Especially if I get at least ten. That's my goal. Please help me reach it?**

**-MQ**


	10. When You've Got Nothing to Lose

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "Liquid Confidence" by You Me At Six.**_

**Happy Holidays! This is for ****FutureAuthor-Hopefully, for bugging me to write (:**

Ah, the relief of a Saturday morning! I don't know what is more impressive: that I woke up at 8:30 or that I made it through this first week at Hogwarts.

And boy, what a long and eventful week this was.

The arrival and first days were monstrous themselves. I experienced more in those few hours than in most of my schooldays combined, including warping the color of my hair, throwing up on James Potter, having a conversation with Derek Croer, getting detention, feeling remorse for actions taken against James Potter, successfully brewing Polyjuice Potion (okay, so maybe it wasn't _entirely _from scratch, but I still consider it an accomplishment), involuntarily spending some time as Sirius Black, learning some insight into the thoughts of James Potter, having a Head of House meeting with James Potter, and actually-surviving-detention-with-minimal-damage with James Potter.

Is it just me or did my first day have some kind of theme?

Anyways, the second day of classes was also eventful. It started out well enough, with me—can I believe I'm actually saying this?—befriending James Potter and hearing that I was unforgettable from Derek Croer, but went all downhill from there. You see, when Aurie and I finally reached the Hospital Wing, we met one of the strangest sights we'd ever seen.

Alice was angry.

Now, anyone who knows Alice would tell me I was off my rocker, but I'm absolutely serious.

It turned out that after she, Frank, and I arrived at Herbology, Frank remembered that he had left his textbook in his dormitory. Alice being the good friend that she is, offered to go with him to retrieve it, while I, clueless to the world, walked on into class without them.

At the same moment, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin, who share their dorm with Frank, were also up in Gryffindor Tower, waking up Peter Pettigrew so that he would get to class. And when Frank entered the dorm, he was met with misfortune.

It turns out that James and Sirius adopted a stray kitten over the summer, and James took him along to Hogwarts this year. Their cat, a small but vicious black fluffball named Hades, has some kind of weird nervous condition where he freaks out whenever he sees a dog, which James and Sirius guess is due to a traumatic incident with one in Hades's life prior to their taking him in.

Here's where the story stops making sense. Somehow, a huge black shaggy dog had gotten into their dormitory, causing Hades to tear around the room, climbing curtains, biting ankles, and harming anything he came across. Frank happened into the room in the midst of this chaos, and Hades, well…he kind of jumped from James's bed onto Frank's face.

Then Alice started screaming, the dog disappeared somewhere, and James, Remus, and Peter rushed to Frank's aid. Hades stuck fast until Sirius emerged from the bathroom. Apparently, he has some kind of talent with animals, and managed to calm the kitten down enough to get him off of Frank.

Frank's scratches were really bad, and his face started to swell up, so everyone rushed immediately to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was able to cure him easily enough, but he retained a small scar above his eyebrow. That little scratch, combined with the pain that she envisioned he went through, was enough to make Alice lose it.

We found her glaring purposefully at James when we came in at lunch. Sirius had escaped her notice as blameful, because he had been the one to pull Hades off in the end. So, to Alice, James was singularly responsible for the crazy kitten's damage to her best friend's face (as she assumed he would be the one to bring in a random dog).

It took Aurie and me a while to get her to stop shooting James looks that clearly wished him a dragged out, painful death, but we managed to in the end by promising to buy her ten Galleons worth of chocolate and convincing James to make Frank's bed for a week.

After that, the rest of the day wasn't so monumental. Nor was the rest of the week, for that matter. I went to class, did my homework (mostly), and strived to be nice to my new friend (sort of—old habits die hard).

I had a few conversations with Derek, though they only composed of a few words, and watched Heather try to glom onto him. I teased Alice about Frank, made fun of Aurie's music, and tried to avoid Severus whenever I could. All in all, things were pretty normal, which was a complete relief.

That all brought me to today, the first day of the first weekend of the school year. You'd think that would mean just relaxing and enjoying the time off, right? Wrong. In my life, there is no such thing as a stress-free moment.

First off, Aurie was in a dreadful mood. Apparently, one of the million bands she was in love with would be touring over our holiday break (I know—who's already planning their Christmas break?), but her parents had insisted on her spending some "quality time" with them and her three-year-old brother, Alexandrius (no, I don't know where Aurie's parents find such unconventional names for their children—we just call him Alex) in their fancy London townhouse. Though it was still months from winter break, Aurie divided her time between muttering obscenities, moping around our dormitory, and practically mauling Sirius Black every time she saw him—he used every opportunity he got to poke fun at her height, which she's very defensive of (she insists at every opportunity that she would have been three inches taller if it wasn't for her scoliosis).

Secondly, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter had been acting oddly. They were unconventionally quiet and unnaturally well behaved, as well as a bit dodgy. Their usually jesting demeanors changed to solemn ones, and they seemed to avoid me every chance they got. Including James.

Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining. Sure, I had officially become friends with him, but that didn't mean that I was suddenly a fan of everything he did. A lot of his habits were just as irksome to me as they had been before, maybe even more so, as I observed them more often. I _was _starting to like James as a person, but that didn't mean that I wanted him around me 24/7. A girl's got to breathe. Especially a really unstable girl. With a really complicated life. Who's also a witch.

So yes, the infamous Marauders were condoning themselves in an unusual manner. And yes, it did kind of bother me, as well as arouse my troublesome curiosity.

Thirdly, Alice had been pretty distant with me lately. Well, not just me, as she tended to shy away from Aurie as well. But with Aurie she had a reason—the girl was bloody insane at the moment—whereas I was being tossed like a sack of flour and I couldn't think why.

And finally, my teachers were laying the homework on thick. I mean, yes I did know it was my last year, and yes, I did expect to have to work hard, but come on! I actually somewhat enjoyed homework, but sitting with my nose stuck in piles of old texts in the library for hours on end was starting to feel pretty repetitive. Not to mention it made me sneeze a lot. And Madam Pince was really touchy about sneezing in her library.

All of this together left me with an intense case of the doldrums. Not even the beautiful summer weather had the potential to cheer me up. I was huffy, over-worked, and alone. A frown was almost permanently etched onto my face.

Upon my early waking this morning, I resolved to ignore my homework responsibilities for the day. Why not be a normal, procrastinating teenager for once?

I also decided to spend the day with some of my other, less intimate friends. After a long summer apart, I hadn't tried very hard to reacquaint myself with my other schoolmates. So after I breakfasted peacefully in the Great Hall, I made my way up to the Owlery and quickly composed a few lines to send with Loresis. With any luck, my friends would meet me at our usual hangout.

Figuring I had some time before they got my message, I returned to the Gryffindor common room and settled myself on one of the plush couches. Pulling out my wand, I began to absentmindedly tap it against my hand, barely noticing the orange sparks that emitted from it, lost in incoherent thoughts.

"What the bloody—OW!"

I turned to see Aurie descending the girls' staircase, a severely pissed off look on her face, and a delicate gray owl nipping affectionately at her wrist. Her blonde hair was left to itself, forming messy waves around her face, something I knew to take that she wasn't having the greatest morning.

"Lily, your damn owl keeps biting me!" she growled when she reached me.

I carefully pried Loresis away from my angry friend and untied the note from her leg. Reading its contents quickly, I smiled and released my owl, watching her as she flew gracefully out the open window.

"Later, Auriola!" I called as I made to move towards the portrait hole. Unfortunately, I wasn't counting on the little blonde intercepting me.

"Where are you going?" she asked, a little suspiciously. It's almost as if she knew I was trying to escape from her.

I gulped. "Nowhere, really. Just going to catch up with Theresa and all those people," I tried to say nonchalantly.

To my surprise, Aurie brightened. "I haven't seen them since last term!" she exclaimed. "When're we meeting them?"

I rolled my eyes. Typical Aurie.

"Well," I began, "_I_ made plans with them at ten—"

"Perfect!" she interrupted. "Just enough time for us to go to breakfast!"

Bless my heart. I actually thought that including her in my plans would dissolve her moodiness. But boy was I wrong. The progress she had made evaporated as soon as she saw Sirius Black. In fact, her temper flared brighter than it had been up to this point.

I can't say I blame her _too _much. It was probably difficult to see the bloke you fancied—but would never admit to tolerating—wrapped up with another girl.

Actually, I'll admit that my own short temper was a little inflamed. Sure, Camilla Burns was pretty, and she was a decent sort of sixth year, but she had nothing on Aurie. And, honestly, who has the impropriety to snog at the bloody breakfast table?

I watched my friend warily as we sat a few seats away from Sirius and his new, but probably temporary, girlfriend, but she seemed to be content with fuming internally. She didn't say one word to me unless I tried to start up a conversation, and even then her replies were short and cool. She was trying to keep her anger secret, and I didn't want to let on that I thought she was behaving abnormally, so we mostly remained silent.

But that idiot Sirius obviously fell for her pitiful acting. Either that or he was one hundred percent suicidal.

He broke away from Burns for an oxygen break and set about helping himself to sustenance. In the process of doing so, he had the nerve to address my simmering cauldron of a best friend.

"Hey, Commissi, pass the pumpkin juice, will you, love?" he called, smirking at her.

And then the world stood still. You know how in movies, before there is a major explosion, the sound is turned off and there's this one single shot of the building in it's entirety? That's what this moment felt like.

Aurie's anger faded for the briefest of seconds, as incredulity took its place, but then her face hardened into the determined expression she wore right before a Quidditch match. She plastered on the absolute fakest of phony smiles, before saying in a deadly quiet voice (that _should _have warned the dolt), "Of course."

Despite my having already eaten earlier that morning, I grabbed a piece of toast and nibbled on it nervously as I watched Aurie stand up stiffly and grab the pitcher of juice so firmly that her knuckles turned white.

Sirius was smiling cluelessly at her as he watched her approach. Camilla just looked confused (she's not exactly the sharpest dagger in the Potions kit).

"I really appreciate it, sweetheart," said Sirius, as he aimed to take the pitcher from her.

Aurie's smile disappeared.

"No problem, _sweetheart_," she said sarcastically, and then turned the pitcher of juice over his head.

There were gasps as the entire Great Hall turned to see Sirius and his latest girl drenched in torrents of orange liquid.

"Damn, I really do need to get this spastic arm of mine looked at. It's just so clumsy!" Aurie grinned, placed the sticky pitcher on the table in front of her, and turned on her heel. The Hall erupted in applause as she marched towards the exit.

Sirius watched her leave, completely dumbstruck and consequently oblivious to the panicking of the girl beside him.

"Well, shit," he said, just as Aurie reached the double doors and mockingly blew a kiss in his direction. But he didn't sound angry. Shocked, definitely. But there was something else, too; an undertone of something like reverence.

It was by far the most bizarre thing I had ever seen. But I couldn't stop laughing. Clutching my side, I jogged quickly out of the chaotic Great Hall after Aurie. I found her waiting for me a little down the corridor, a confident smile on her face. I practically tackled her in a hug.

"Auriola Commissi, I think that was the most awesome thing you have ever done," I confessed, still laughing.

Her smile grew brighter. "Why thank you, my dear Head Girl. Does this mean I don't receive detention?"

"Do you think I want to be the most unpopular girl in the entire school?" I jokingly replied. "Besides, the only adult at breakfast was Hagrid, and I swear that I saw him chuckling out of the corner of my eye."

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really."

"Wicked." Then her expression turned slightly pensive. "Do you think he'll hate me?"

I was confused. "Hagrid? I just told you he was laughing."

"No, not him." She shook her head quickly. "I meant Black. Do you think this'll… I dunno, make him avoid me or something?"

When I raised my eyebrows at her, she quickly added,

"Not like I care at all, though."

"Right. Because people who don't care typically ask questions that imply that they do, actually, care."

"Oh, you're hopeless! Even if he does hate me, I guess it was worth it. I just wish I could have seen the look on his face more clearly."

I grinned. "He was definitely caught off guard."

Aurie laughed. "That much I figured," she agreed.

We strolled pleasantly onto the grounds together, walking down to the changing rooms just outside the Quidditch pitch. A few minutes of cheerful conversation later, we were joined by a good friend of ours, seventh year Ravenclaw Theresa McCullough.

She greeted us both with hugs, then proceeded to congratulate Aurie on her performance in the Great Hall, her dark navy eyes twinkling as they always did.

"Meredith, David, and Kayla are coming down in a second," Theresa assured us, referring to some of her fellow Ravenclaws. "They were just sitting down to eat when you soaked Black. After that, we were all laughing too hard to focus on breakfast, so they insisted they'd bring something down here to eat later."

And sure enough, the bright morning sun revealed a troop of students making their way in our direction. But as I squinted to see them more clearly, I counted four figures, not three. Puzzled, I turned to Theresa.

"Are they bringing someone with them?" I asked her.

Theresa was distracted, playing with a strand of her long, straight jet-black hair. "What? Oh! I forgot to tell you. One of David's friends is joining us. He's in our year, and my House."

I shrugged noncommittally and looked toward the empty bleachers of the stadium. Though I despised all sports, I really enjoyed spending time at the pitch. Its emptiness and large size triggered tranquility within me.

I felt Aurie nudge me.

"Look who's coming!" she hissed in my ear.

I did as she said, finding that the group joining us had neared closer and were now clearly visible, even to my slightly faulty eyes. I could clearly make out all four of their faces. There was Meredith Greenwood, with her short, strawberry-blonde bob and gray eyes, hidden behind square black glasses, neatly perching on her nose. Next to her, laughing good-naturedly, was Kayla Harris, a sixth year with waving, shoulder-length chestnut locks and light green eyes, her customary camera hanging on a strap around her neck. Following closely behind them was David Mulgrein, a tall seventh year with close-cropped light brown hair and obsidian eyes, his hands in his jacket pockets as he conversed with a wonderfully familiar figure.

Derek Croer was here.

I felt my insides wriggle the same way they did every time I Apparated. I was going to hang out with DEREK CROER on the weekend!

Theresa waved them over before linking arms with Aurie and leading the way to the Ravenclaw section of the stadium seats. I lagged a little behind the two of them, in part because they were starting to goad each other about the upcoming Quidditch season—Theresa was a Chaser for Ravenclaw—and in part because I wanted everyone else in our group to catch up to me. Specifically—well, you know. I've only said his name three billion times. And thought it twice as often.

I exchanged greetings with Meredith, Kayla, and David, then turned to Derek.

He smiled at me. "Morning, Lily."

What a truly majestic voice. He could read the History of Magic textbook aloud and I would catch every word with rapture.

David spoke before I could reply.

"You two know each other? Brilliant. Saves me half the work of introductions. Hey, Aurie!"

My best friend, who up until now had been pretending (badly—like I've said multiple times, she really isn't much of an actress) to be marking the conversation between Theresa and Meredith about their summer holiday, while really just staring at Derek and me, slowly moved her eyes to David's face.

"Yeah?"

He gestured awkwardly to Derek. "This is my friend, Derek Croer. Derek, this is Auriola Commissi." He put his hands up in the air. "Now there's my bit."

Aurie studied Derek, her blue eyes narrowed critically. He didn't seem to mind, though I found it uncomfortable.

He laughed. "Searching for something, Ms. Commissi?"

Aurie seemed to snap out of it. She gave him a small smile.

"No, I've just heard a lot about you," she said pointedly, while staring at me.

"Oh." To my utter humiliation, he followed her glance to my face, now so red it could probably stick out even under an invisibility cloak.

Kayla, to my relief, broke the awkward silence that followed.

"I want to take a group picture! Everyone stand up," she commanded cheerfully. Bless her. I'd never been so grateful for her everlasting sweetness.

David, who everyone knew had been trailing after her since our fifth year, but was too shy to act upon it, immediately stood and began pushing us together.

I ended up between Aurie and Meredith. I pinched my best friend's arm with irritation. She only smiled bigger at Kayla's camera.

The flash that followed was bright enough to break any leftover tension. Laughing and shielding our eyes, we all took our places on the benches and began an animated conversation.

I noticed Derek's eyes on me a lot, even when I wasn't talking. He didn't say much himself, only adding in a detail to some of David's stories, or contributing a quiet laugh.

Aurie seemed tense, watching him almost as often as she watched me. Her facial expression didn't give much away, apart from being thoughtful. She was biting the inside of her cheek, which she always did when she was thinking intently.

"You concerned about the match coming up, Aurie?" teased Theresa, noticing her silence.

Aurie dropped the expression and turned to her, smiling challengingly.

"Definitely not. Gryffindor has this in the bag."

"Personally, I'm a little concerned, Theresa," chimed in David. "From what I hear, they have an impressive team this year. And _James Potter _is Captain." He raised his eyebrows at her meaningfully.

Theresa shrugged off his comment. "Potter's good, I'll admit that. But he's still just one player."

Kayla shook her head emphatically. "David's got a point, Theresa. You better hope our team is drilled to perfection. Everyone knows James Potter is a legend. And Giovanna Treble was telling me just the other day that he went to a major match this summer."

"So?" Theresa remained unmoved.

Aurie grinned. "The team gave him pointers."

"Damn," said Theresa, sighing.

Aurie laughed.

"Personally, I don't understand what all the fuss is about," I interjected.

Theresa and Aurie exchanged looks.

"I mean, it's just a game, right?"

"Oh, Lily," laughed Meredith. "I'm not a fan of the game either, but even I know that when a major team gives someone advice, it's a huge deal."

"And not just someone," added David. "James Potter."

"Is he that good?"

"Lily, have you ever _watched _a Quidditch game?" asked Kayla with a smile.

"You'd assume so, since our House has been winning every year," said Aurie, rolling her eyes.

I didn't feel like telling them that I only went to the matches because everyone else in the school did, and that when I went I mainly searched the Ravenclaw section for a certain face, which I would proceed to watch the entire rest of the allotted game time.

"I swear, you're like Derek, here," said David, pointing toward his friend. "I ask him if he wants to watch the match and the entire time he sits and writes on scraps of paper."

"Really?" Theresa looked interested. "Taking statistics? Noting moves?"

Derek brushed some of his light brown hair out of his eyes. "Writing songs," he mumbled, a little shyly.

Kayla laughed at Theresa's disappointed expression.

"So clearly," said David, "It's all of our job to get these two to actually watch some Quidditch."

I looked toward Derek, but upon meeting his eyes, looked down. I felt the tingle of nervous excitement. If the goal was to get the _song-writing _(!) Derek and me to actually pay attention to the sport, wouldn't it be most convenient to get the two of us to watch the next match together?

Just then, Aurie decided to kill me. Along with my hopes and dreams.

"Definitely." She brightened. "I'll drag her along to practice with me tonight so she can observe the genius that is James Potter."

I shot her a pleading look, but she deftly ignored it.

"And I'll make sure you get your fill of our House's team, Croer," said Theresa determinedly.

Derek smiled ruefully at David, shaking his head.

We spent the rest of the morning together, talking about every subject under the sun. Eventually we got on the topic of my many mishaps during the week. I blushed and tried to make excuses for the embarrassing things I had done, and Derek defended me—beautiful and gallant!—with his comment that in the classes I shared with him, I hadn't done anything at all strange.

I shot him a grateful smile.

Just as he was about to say something else, Aurie jumped to her feet, pleading hunger, and, pulling me up as well, began to say her goodbyes.

"Lily's got Head Girl stuff to do," she said quickly, tugging me by the arm down the stands to the stadium's grass. I just managed to wave at the Ravenclaws before she dragged me out of the pitch completely.

Breathless, I wrenched my hand out of her grasp. "What are you doing?"

She shrugged innocently. "It's lunchtime. We should eat something."

"Okay," I said. "So why didn't you ask everyone else to come along?"

"They were starting to bore me." She avoided looking me in the eyes.

"Aurie! They weren't boring _me_! I was actually making progress with Derek!" I complained, crossing my arms.

"Eh, he's overrated. I mean, who really eats potatoes for like every meal? Now come on."

She began to pull me down the path back to the castle, as I spluttered at her the entire way. I had never been so full of disbelief. I mean, weren't your friends supposed to support you when you liked someone? It seemed much more plausible than them trying to drag you away. Unless that person was completely wrong for you, of course, or a criminal. But Derek was neither! In fact, we had a lot in common. We were in three of the same classes and both didn't care for Quidditch. What a successful foundation to build upon!

I spent the rest of the day in the common room, wrapped up in my Transfiguration textbook. It was the only subject where I really had to apply myself, so I figured the extra reviewing time wouldn't hurt. Plus I didn't have much else to do. Aurie took one look at Sirius and Camilla by the window—both now clean and up to the same thing they were up to at breakfast—and stomped up to our dormitory. And Alice was out with Frank again, since I couldn't find her anywhere.

An hour before dinner, Aurie came back downstairs, now dressed in her Quidditch uniform.

"It's time for practice," was all she said.

I put a bookmark in my text and left it on my chair.

As we were descending the Great Staircase, I chanced to talk to her.

"You do know I have detention tonight, right? I have to be back by eight."

She nodded. "It's only 5:20. You should be fine. James has it too, so he won't run practice past then."

"Right."

I fell silent for the rest of our walk, wondering if James would act strangely again today. So far, it seemed that Sirius was back to normal, but that didn't count for much. I couldn't help wanting to know what had made the Mauraders so tense in the first place.

It wasn't the first time this had happened, I realized. I just had never bothered to pay much attention before. But there were very often times when I saw them looking somber at breakfast, Remus especially. I had always attributed it to something his friends had done that he didn't approve of, but now I wasn't too sure. It had to be something deeper than that to bring down their whole group.

We arrived at the pitch. I noted how nervous the players seemed.

"Why does everyone look scared?" I asked Aurie.

"It's the first practice since tryouts," she answered.

I remained with her until James came onto the pit, at which point I took a seat in the stands.

It's funny, but seeing James at practice, as Captain, made me realize that I didn't know him at all. He was so different on the field. He became more serious, businesslike, and yet, he was so kind to everyone on his team. It was—this is hard for me to admit—easy to see how Aurie had so eagerly befriended him. James treated his team like a family.

And there was his talent. I'd always thought he was a boastful, hot-headed idiot who told tall tales about his so-called abilities. But once I actually paid attention to how he played… Well it was easy to see why people talked about him so much.

He didn't seem to notice that I was there until Aurie bounded up to me after practice, restored to cheeriness once more.

She smiled at me smugly. "Now do you realize that you've turned down the best Quidditch player in the entire school?"

I rolled my eyes. Then I looked at the field.

"Hey, isn't that Sirius messing with your new broom?"

Aurie's eyes became huge. She bolted down the steps to the bottom of the stands, yelling all sorts of curses and jinxes. Luckily for Sirius, I stole her wand.

"If that's Sirius's plan for revenge for what happened this morning, I've lost all faith in him," commented James with a smile, sitting down beside me.

He looked tired, and a little tense, but his hazel eyes were friendly and his smile seemed genuine. Though I didn't bid them to, I felt the corners of my mouth turn up as well. His smiles were contagious.

"It's a bit too tame for him," I agreed. "As if he's lost his touch."

"Or his heart," James suggested.

At that I laughed. He looked surprised.

"It's ridiculous, isn't it?" I prompted him cheerfully, "That the two of them are so obviously perfect for each other, and yet neither one will give in, for fear of losing some kind of match."

His smile faded a little at that, making his expression look wistfully thoughtful.

"I'm only saying," I continued, "that if there was someone absolutely, positively ideal for me out there, where I could reach, I don't think I would be wasting my time bickering."

"Yeah," James replied, his voice soft. "I don't suppose you would be."

"If such a person was out there, I mean. Don't you think you would just _know_? Wouldn't you feel it?"

James nodded slowly, but didn't meet my eyes. Looking down, his face was in shadow. I couldn't read what was there in the very dim light offered by the stadium.

And then, suddenly, the entire situation was awkward. I mean, really, truly uncomfortable. I had no idea why, but I immediately felt as if I wanted to run far away from James. I blushed, thankful that the darkness didn't give me away.

I had caught myself talking about _love_, and with _James Potter_, too! I hardly talked about things like that with Alice and Aurie! I hardly talked about things like that at all, even in my thoughts!

I didn't know what it was, but I knew that talking to James was dangerously easy. I found myself confessing sappy ideas that were totally uncharacteristic of me. Or, at least, the me that everyone knew.

"Oi! Prongs!"

Sirius Black's use of his nickname for James broke us both out of our awkward reveries. We stood up quickly. I pretended to brush something off of my shoe just to let my hair cover my red cheeks, waiting for them to cool.

James seemed to be a little agitated. He ran his hand through his already-messy black hair.

I straightened up, hoping my blush was more resigned, and followed him down the steps of the stands, until we both stepped foot on the grass, where Sirius was waiting.

I looked around the field, trying to spot Auriola amongst her teammates, but didn't see her. I supposed Black's behavior had driven her back to the castle.

I gave Sirius a small wave, and mumbled a goodbye, before turning back in the direction towards the school, when James caught my hand.

Surprised, I turned to face him.

"Will you come to practice tomorrow?" he asked earnestly.

"Er, sure," I answered, not knowing how else to reply. It would have been rude to say no, right to his face.

"Great," he said, letting go of my hand, and flashing me a quick smile.

It wasn't that his grip had been tight, or painful—in fact it was very light—but for some reason, my hand hurt a little as I walked back towards the castle. I flexed it a few times, wondering what was the matter. It felt similarly to how my foot felt, whenever it fell asleep, and I regained use of it suddenly. Tingly, but pressingly and irritatingly so.

Strange, I thought, and walked on, dreading meeting with him again in detention later that evening.

**Please review? :D**

**-MQ**


	11. Everybody Was Kissing Fire

_**Disclaimer: Everything in this story belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything that sounds familiar is hers. I just enjoy playing with the world she created. All of the chapter names are lyrics from songs from the various bands, named.**_

_**Chapter named after "Safer to Hate Her" by You Me At Six.**_

**Happy New Year! Thanks to ****Annunminuialiel, FutureAuthor-Hopefully, my best friend Taylor, marinewife08, and PottedLilies for reviewing. It gave me the inspiration to write this chapter!**

After calming my nerves with a relaxing shower, I tied up my long red hair into a messy knot and trudged out of my dorm, down the stairs, across the common room, and out of the portrait hole.

I had no idea what had made me so nervous in the first place. I mean, yes, I was _dreading_ going to detention with James, but that should not have made me nervous in any way. Dread and nerves are not synonymous! I would know, since I practically sleep with a thesaurus!

All of a sudden, in the middle of my ever-present and irritating confusion, I felt something furry against my sneaker. That something was enough to put me off-balance on my next step, and before I knew it, I was going down. The last thing I saw before I started to tumble down the Great Staircase (which was, unfortunately, too close to where I tripped) was a pair of yellow eyes, framed in the face of a rather scrawny black kitten.

I came to a painful stop at the next (sixth-floor) landing, thankfully. I felt the beginnings of bruises on practically every spot on my body. I curled myself into a ball on the landing, and screwed my eyes shut tight. I did _not _want to see just how many people had viewed my embarrassing accident.

Maybe, I thought, trying not to move, they'll think I'm out cold and leave me alone. But I reconsidered this a second later. If they thought I was unconscious, they would call for Madam Pomfrey. And that would make things so much worse. Imagine being labeled the girl who knocked herself out by falling down the stairs. Oh, Merlin Merlin _Merlin._

I felt a hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me. It was a strong hand, a rather nice hand, I thought.

"Lily?"

I quickly opened my eyes, registering James Potter's inquiring look before me. His face was just inches away from mine—I could see every fleck of gold and green in those hazel eyes. They were quite interesting, when you really looked at them…

Wait a minute. What in the name of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was I doing?

I blinked hard, and moved away, James's hand falling off of my shoulder.

He looked confused. "Are you okay?"

I nodded quickly. "Fine, actually. Just peachy."

But I wasn't. I was using strange words—hello, _peachy_?—and finding it hard to breathe. It was like there wasn't enough oxygen on the planet to house both myself and James Potter. One of us had to go.

I scrambled to my feet, trying to ignore the pain that resulted. I was sure going to have some nasty bruises.

He put a steadying hand on my back and grabbed my wrist. For some reason, his touch just irritated me further. Why was he doing that? Didn't he know it made me uncomfortable?

James just kept looking me, his worried expression unchanging.

"I saw you take that fall. It looked pretty bad," he said.

I sighed. "Perfect," I muttered. "By breakfast tomorrow, the entire school will know how ridiculously clumsy I am. Damn cat." I added the last part under my breath.

James looked amused as he let go of me. "I'm pretty sure the entire school _already _knows how clumsy you are, Lily," he reminded me gently. "But don't worry, I'm the only person who saw, and I promise not to tell anyone, as long as you're alright."

"I assure you, I'm perfect." I gave him a grateful look.

He smiled. "That you are, Evans."

I rolled my eyes. "And you most certainly aren't, Potter."

James laughed. And inside, I smiled. We were back to Potter and Evans.

* * *

We arrived at detention a little over five minutes late, and I knew there would be hell to pay.

Sure enough, Filch gave us an evil smile.

"Forbidden Forest," he said, relishing the expression on my face.

I glanced at James, to see how he was taking the news. To my surprise, he was hiding a smile.

Filch obviously didn't see it, as he smirked and continued. "Professor Sprout needs a few samples of wolfsbane. She thinks there's something the matter with the variety she's growing… Anyway," he said, shaking his head as if to clear it, "it's your job to find it."

James tensed up at the word 'wolfsbane.'

"Lily," he whispered, leaning towards me, "Is it a full moon tonight?"

I looked back at him, confused.

"I think so," I whispered back. "Why?"

"Werewolves," James said at full volume. Then he cursed, putting his face in his palm. "How could I have been so stupid?" he mumbled angrily.

Filch grinned at us once more before walking away.

I put a hand on James's arm, trying to be reassuring. Instantly, I regretted it, as I felt his muscles stiffen at my touch.

He looked up from his hands. "Lily Evans, are you trying to _comfort _me?" The thought seemed to be terribly entertaining to him.

I blushed, withdrawing my hand. "Well I can't wander into the Forbidden Forest alone, can I? And that would be the case, at the rate we're going."

James seemed to recollect himself.

"You won't be alone," he said determinedly. Then he grinned. "You're going with the person who knows it best."

"Ah," I said, as we started to walk out the double doors onto Hogwarts' grounds. "The valiant Marauder."

"And hero," added my companion. "I am a Gryffindor, you know."

Though he acted cheerful, I could tell something was wrong with James. His smiles didn't reach his eyes, and he looked distracted. I caught him glancing worriedly at the Whomping Willow as we made our way to the Forest.

Just as we reached the first trees of the dense greenery edging the school, I felt something change. It was like an electric current was moving through the air, and it had shocked me.

I paused for the tiniest second—and felt strong arms push me down. I landed in a bush on the forest floor.

"What the—?" I looked up at James, alarmed, and spat out leaves.

He had his wand out, his back to me, and was scanning the area, as if waiting for something.

"Stay down," he said to me, his voiced distressed.

I was just about to ask what was going on when I saw a huge black dog leap onto James, knocking him off of his feet. I was so stunned that I couldn't even scream. I was hurriedly searching for my wand in the broken shrubbery around me when the dog transformed.

_Into Sirius Black_.

"Where the _hell _have you been?" he demanded of James, getting off of him and helping him up. "We've being going mental without you. Remus—"

He was cut off as James elbowed him in the ribs, hard.

"OW," he wheezed, regaining his breath. "Why did you…?"

He trailed off as I realized my presence. With my red hair tumbling out of it's elastic, leaves all over my clothing, a twig caught in the belt-loop of my jeans, my eyes wide, and my wand raised as I unsteadily got to my feet, I probably looked like a madwoman.

Sirius buried his face in his hands. "Oh, _shit_, Evans." He kicked the nearest tree, chipping the bark.

"Will someone _please _tell me what on earth is going on?" My voice came out very high-pitched.

James's eyes were full of concern as he looked at me, messing up his black hair nervously. "Now, just calm down, Lily."

Sirius's face was still covered. He kept muttering oaths.

"Calm down?" I shrieked, finally losing it. "Your best friend is an illegal Animangus! We're in the Forbidden Forest, all alone, you're worried about werewolves, and you're telling me to _calm down_? And for the love of magic, this is _not _the time to be messing with your bloody hair, Potter!"

His face clouded, and he looked as if I'd slapped him.

Meanwhile, Sirius was shaking. It wasn't until he took his hands off his face that I realized it was from laughter.

James and I both shot him glares, but it only made him laugh harder. He bent over, clutching his stomach.

"Prongs," he managed to say between laughs, "It—sure—is—a good—thing—Evans—hates you—because—you—would be—so—_whipped_!"

"Shut up," his best mate muttered, crossing his arms.

Then we heard a sound that effectively shut us _all_ up. The unmistakable howl of a werewolf cut through the air.

"Bloody hell," whispered Sirius, completely somber.

"Run!" James yelled to me, grabbing my hand and breaking into a sprint.

"But—Sirius!" I said, trying to match his speed.

"He can take care of himself. It's you we need to worry about."

And he pulled my arm harder, his grip on my hand so tight it was as if we were connected for dear life. Which, as I thought about it, we kind of were. Otherwise, I would have minded much more.

We kept running, never looking back, until we reached the castle. We stopped just outside the doors, panting.

My red hair felt heavy on my shoulders. I felt for the elastic in the mass of waves, but couldn't find it. I guessed I had lost it in the run, so I flipped my entire head upside down, my hands on my knees, as I tried to catch my breath.

When I was upright once again, I met James's hazel eyes with my green ones.

"I have to go help Sirius now," he said. "Get inside and go to the common room. Don't wait for me."

"What?" I spluttered. "You think you're just going to leave, without telling me what's happened? What am I supposed to say to Filch?"

"I don't know," James replied anxiously. "You're smart, you'll think of something—"

I caught him by the collar of his shirt, bringing him down to my level. We were so close that I could see every one of his eyelashes in detail.

"You are not leaving me," I practically growled, "without some sort of answer."

He was caught off-guard. For a few seconds, we were both silent, the only sound between us coming from our still-heavy breathing.

Then, ever so softly, James said, "Ten thousand, eight hundred and four."

As I stared at him, confused, he gently removed my hand from his shirt, and, making eye contact with me once more, dropped it at my side. Then he took off running, back in the direction of the forest.

I stood there, watching him as his blur grew smaller and smaller in the dark.

* * *

"Lily." A light hand was shaking me awake.

I opened my eyes. Alice was kneeling at my side, Aurie standing over her.

The brunette took her hand off of my shoulder.

"You're finally awake," she said, smiling.

"About time," added Aurie. She was picking at her navy blue nail polish.

I sat up, realizing I was on the common room couch, in my pajamas. Obnoxious afternoon sunlight was streaming in through the diamond panes of the large windows, and life was stirring all around me.

"What time is it?" I asked, yawning.

"12:30," said Alice.

"What the hell were you doing last night?" Aurie demanded. "You came upstairs at like 8:30, all freaked out, changed into pajamas, and then left. And you never came back!"

"We looked for you," added Alice, much more gently, "but couldn't find you anywhere. What happened?"

I sighed, running a hand through my rumpled hair—but stopped, realizing it was the very habit that I detested in James.

"It's a very long, confusing story. I'll have to tell you another time." I evaded their questioning looks, instead peering around them at all the others gathered in the common room. No sign of James or any of his friends.

After he had left last night, I wandered up to my dormitory and changed out of my forest-dirtied clothes. I put on my favorite pajamas, deciding it didn't really matter what I was wearing, and proceeded to walk back down to the entrance to the grounds. I stood there, watching for him to return, for over an hour, until Professor McGonagall came across me.

"Why, Miss Evans," she said, looking surprised, "What are you doing out here?"

She eyed my apparel with a disapproving air.

"Sorry, Professor. I just…needed some fresh air," I lied. "I'll be going to bed now."

She gave me a strange look. "That would be best. Goodnight, Miss Evans."

"Goodnight, Professor," I replied evenly, before scampering in the direction of the staircase and returning to the common room.

By then, it was completely devoid of students. I paced the rug before the portrait hole, deep in thought.

I questioned my dishonesty to McGonagall. Normally, I was the type of stickler-for-the-rules that didn't tell falsehoods. But I felt that James didn't want anyone to know what had happened. At the very least, I wanted to be sure of any kind of story before I told one.

I paced until I grew tired, when I transitioned to sitting on the couch. I sat there well into the night—for so long that I eventually fell asleep.

"Have either of you seen James?" I inquired of Alice and Aurie.

They exchanged curious looks and nodded.

"He was at breakfast with us earlier," said Alice.

"Why?" asked Aurie.

"Er, Heads business. I need to talk to him."

Aurie raised an eyebrow. "You two seem to have an awful lot of business together lately."

I ignored her.

"Maybe you'd better get dressed first?" Alice suggested.

I looked down at myself. Oh. Pajamas. Right.

Twenty minutes later, I was ready to confront him.

I marched down the girls' staircase, searching for the signature messed-up black hair. But I didn't see him anywhere. Instead, I saw Alice looking through my Transfiguration textbook.

"Oh, no you don't," I said, walking up to her and snatching the book.

She gave me a sheepish smile. "I can't seem to find mine."

Alice was notorious for losing nearly everything she got her hands on, including mine and Aurie's stuff. We had a simple rule: keep everything you value away from Alice, because once she gets her hands on it, it's gone.

"Borrow Frank's." I shot her a grin.

"I've already—never mind," she said. "Care to go to the library with me?"

I laughed, ran upstairs to grab my homework and our blonde friend, and hurried back. The three of us spent most of the day catching up on all of the work we had neglected—and alright, we divided most of it up and then swapped papers. Even then, we had so much to do that we only took breaks at mealtimes.

Though I pretended like I was only stressed about my workload, I was seriously concerned about James. He wasn't there when I went to eat lunch or dinner, and I didn't see him in the common room in the evening, either. I thought for sure I would see him at his team's Quidditch practice, but he cancelled it. It was like he was avoiding me.

But why? How horrible could the truth be, that he was trying so hard to stay away from me? And worse, why did it bother me so much?

**It's shorter than the last one, but I hope you enjoy it! Please do review!**

**-MQ (:**


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